My husband has recently become very succesful in his business, I feel left out. In his spare time, he usually wants to relax, I want to go and spend time with him. I am a homemaker with 4 children. He gets very mad at me if I ask him when to expect him home, or where he worked during the day.He tells me I need a job so I won't need to know about his business. He gets very mad if I ask anyl questions about financial decisions and tells me to mind my own business. I didn't know we were going to refinance our house until he had already made the appt.! Am I being unreasonable?
<br>I suggested counseling but he refuses!
<br>I am tired of his fits of anger over things I feel I have a right to know even though I don't work. He was never like this when we were scraping by financially. Now he just wants supper on the table when he gets home, even if it is 2 hrs. cold and wants me to keep my mouth shut.
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Banta, it seems to me that your husband doesn't want a wife, rather a servant. He is wrong for not including you in important decisions, financial and otherwise. You are obviously an intelligent, understanding person. My husband also has not liked me asking too many questions about his day, or who he talked to, etc. But he did not go as far as making big decision without me. Your husband needs to get some training, so to speak, on what it means to be married - how that his business IS YOUR business too. Once people become married, they no longer have completely separate lives - things such as you mentioned are supposed to become fused as one life. I'd suggest you start by getting to a marriage counselor, and try to get your husband to go as well. If he refuses, then go on your own to get guidance on how to handle this better. I will remember you in my prayers!

Banta,
<br>No man is an island, I used to be just the same as your husband. Basically I felt that my home was my castle and it insulated me from the outside business world. I didn't want my family exposed to the BS of my work. Try to understand your husband in that light. However life is a two-way street and my wife didn't tell me everything either and she found it easier to talk to her mom than to me. Thats where my problems began because when my business got into difficulty I wanted to turn to my wife for moral support and found that her mother had blocked my path.
<br>If your husband wants to re-finance the family home for business purposes then it is very much your business and you should handle it with caution because the chances are that your husband is taking risks which would normally be handled by a bank. Get independent advice from your own bank manager and financial adviser and sign nothing until you are 101% sure that your home is safe.