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Should we get married if we are undecided on children?
#53250 08/17/98 03:06 PM
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 80
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Snoopy73b Offline OP
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Snoopy73b
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Posts: 80
My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. We are getting married this Fall. About 3 years ago when I was anxious about marriage, he told me that his reservations were in regard to having children. We have both been thinking a lot about the other's point of view but not talking a lot about it, although we start premarital counseling soon. Friends and family think we're perfect for each other and we agree. At times I can contemplate not having children and finding more fulfillment in my career and with my nieces and nephews, however other times I believe I would be resentful if we did not have children. I honestly believe raising children is part of living. I also think our personalities (high strung worriers) need children to keep our priorities on life straight. Thank you in advance for your response.
<p>J.W.
Re: Should we get married if we are undecided on children?
#53251 08/26/98 11:44 PM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 39
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Emma Offline
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I really think this is something that should be settled before you get married. However, I do know a couple in which the husband did not want kids, but wife did. After several years of marriage and some discussion, they did decide to have one child, and it seems to have worked out well for them. I can also imagine it becoming a major problem in the marriage if there is no agreement.
Re: Should we get married if we are undecided on children?
#53252 08/26/98 04:21 PM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 64
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Chris Offline
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Chris
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Jen,
<br>I was amused when you said that you were both worriers, because boy oh boy kids cause more worry's than anything else, from the moment they are born until the day they themselves get married and have kids, and then you will have the grand-children to worry about.
<br>But you know, a home just isn't a home unless there are noisy kids about. But seriously, don't worry you will both know when it is a good time to have kids, I have six of them so I should know. But there is no need to rush either, enjoy your freedoms and create the right home environment, you won't regret it, honestly.

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