My wife and I have been married 6 years, and together a total of almost 10 years. We have a 3 1/2 year old son. Almost 4 months ago my wife told me she fell out of love and wanted space apart to see if she still loved me. I am not able to move out, financially and emotionally wise. Since I can not move out, she feels that I am not respecting her wishes, and again having to deal with me not abiding to her wants/needs. She wanted/wants me out, but wants me to watch our son while she is at work from 4pm-1am. As is now, we see each other maybe for about 20 mins to 45 mins 3-4 nights a week, if I was out living somewhere else, I could not afford to court her. She has been wonderful and very kind during all this, perhaps a little love still there. I have tried to give her the space that I can, I don't call her, and I try not to pressure her with my emotions. She has asked that I help her with some bills, and we talk about getting things for our place together, not the kind of talk a potentially divorcing couple may have. I have been feeling like our relationship has become a little strange and worried how we can ever get back to a normal one. The past two days, which have prompted me to write, I have been very emotional and I have tried to tell her how I feel. She becomes distant and angry, telling me that this has been the way she had felt for 9+ years. I tell her that they have not all been that bad, but she refuses to aknowledge the good times. Today I asked her to either get the divorce papers, or get those feelings back, I am tired of living in limbo. She has agreed to see our councellor, but to make me see that she needs the space she requires. I'll find out this week what she wants to say. I guess the question I have is whether it is wrong for me to want to resolve this problem? I know that I can not change her feelings, and I do not want to push her any away further, I want to get her back, I want her happy and in love (with me). I am now entering a desperate time. I want to move forward, but I am not ready to be without her. I love her more than any other person, (excluding my son of course), but we all know what I mean. I need my wife, and I am willing to listen to any insights on how to best deal with this "bad dream".

My wife told me the same thing and come to find out that she was having a long term affair with another man. I am not saying that this is happening with your wife but it is worth looking into.

Thank you for your reply.
<p>This had originally gone through my mind, and I confronted her. My way of dealing with this was that I explained to her that if she were having, or had a relationship with another man that she was not being true to her own needs as well as for mine. We had long drawn out discussions on this. Actually constant ones. I was a little gun shy, but feel that she really does not need another or other males in her life at this time. So at this point in time I am pretty confident that this was/is not an issue. She also knows that if it had been the case that I could not continue with our relationship.
<p>I now have talked to her about my emotions, which she does not want to discuss (I, me, my needs). I am now going to try a new approach. I will not dwell on trying to repair our marriage or wanting to be intimate with her at this. I let her know that what ever happens that I will now work on our freindship, no pressure, releasing all emotional needs to try and be freinds again. At least this is what I will try to do. I am running out of options, perhaps even any remaining bondfeelings that she may have for me.
<p>I told her this today and while leaving for work, she called me over to give her a hug.
<br>I still am amazed by her ways, perhaps this is why I push so hard. I want that girl I married. Please let me state for any one that may be the slightest bit interested in what I have written. We marry the ones we loved and we all can remember what made us fall in love with our significant others.
<br>My wife/friend has always been a very giving, loving person, she would throw herself infront of a car to save me. I know now that I did not give her all the respect and love she deserved. I am now changing me, for myself first of all which in turn, if we stay together for her. She kicked me hard, knocked some sense into this stubborn S.O.B. and I long to give now. Life is short and I don't want to live my life the way I have in the past.
<p>For those of you not yet at this point in time. Tell the one you love that you love them, let them know that they are the light of your life, thank them for being a part of your life. Communication may just keep you from a "Bad dream" from coming a reality.
<p>Best of luck to you all.....
<p>Thank you for letting me post...
<p>Rick

Rick,
<br>I have to say that my wife seems to be going through the same thing. Please read "wife's not sure she wants to be married" in the "Other Topics" forum. My wife is also a loving, giving woman who seems to be going through some sort of Mid-Life crisis (I hope). I have ruled out any affair. She truely wants to see if she can accomplish things on her own, without me present. She would like me to give her the space and leave , so that she can see what its like. But she doesn't want to make the decision for me to go because she knows how hard it is for me to leave her.
<br>Our situations are similar, I truely hope that everything works out well between you. It sounds like there is still love between you. It will grow again. I too want the girl I married.
<p>GME
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