I have been dating a wonderful man for 6 months. He is currently going through a divorce with accompaning heartaches, guilt, and pain. Our inherant contradiction is that I am ready to share my life with someone and he is ready to be independant for the first time in his life. We both agree that if we can survive this we would be very happy with each other, he is not able to give to a relationship now what I require or would like. We have broken up once and he called me back. I have tried to back up as much as I could and given him as much space as possible. It is extremely difficult to meet both requirements. We have had many open and honest discussions and I think that is what keeps me and him trying this strange relationship. It there a way for this to work? Most people think we are crazy and should break up but I don't want to loose someone who I am so close to and passionalte about because of conventional wisdom. when I get mad and think that I should find someone else I have gone on dates. It is pleasant entertainment but feels like a violation of my feelings. I could not let anyone else touch me intimately. I am sure they get the physical message. I have given him freedom to be with anyone else, male or female, as long as he does not sleep with them. He has tested me on this and seems to have no desire to be with other women intimately. He just want to come and go with out having to check in and not have to justify his actions. I need to have more of a schedule. It is so hard for me to deal with the last minuite cancelations. I think we are at our wits ends. We have the continuation of this discussion tonight. Please, if anybody has some advise I would appreciate it.
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