Me and my wife are going thru some hard times. we have been married for a bit over 3 years. We both are very honest and faithfull to each other. She is from another country, and we are both going their to visit her parents at Christmas time. She wants to go a little longer (2 months) so that she can get her thought together.She sais she wants to take some time to think things thru. Is this a good idea? Are we going to get weakened by her going away. It will be nearly 2 months away from each other.We both want our marriage to work out very much, but we also have trouble dealing with our problems. I am really afraid that by her staying away from me for so long will crack our small foundation. I told her that it might be dangerous. she agrees but when we argue, she again wants to lengthen the time of stay.
<br>What should I do?<p>[This message has been edited by andy.]

Andy,
<p>I can't see how her wanting to visit her family is a bad thing, and it just may be the ticket to starting the healing process. If you love her as you say you do, then encourage her to go. Let her know that your love for her is based on faith and trust.
<p>This may also give you time to realize how very important she is to you. Don't try to control the one you love, ever. That only breeds contempt. And when she comes back you both will reap the rewards. Trust in yourself, but trust in the fact that she will come back with a clear mind and an open heart, and if doesn't work out that way, what better way to find out?
<p>Trust, Faith, and hope.
<p>john

andy, maybe you could share a little more about the problems you and your wife have been having. It's hard to know what might be happening in her head without knowing anything about your relationship.
<p>What country is your wife from?
<p>terri
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I agree with John 98.
<p>If you two are having difficulty and are constantly in an argument, then maybe some time apart is what you need. It's better to do it and stay married, rather than have to wait for something drastic to separate you.
<p>There was a time in my relationship where I needed to get away from my husband. We agreed, but after a week or so, he changed his mind and was trying to force me to come back. That's when I filed for divorce.
<p>So moral of the story is, don't make someone stay when they don't want to. Give them the space they need, so they'll be happy to come back. If she is the right person for you, you can't lose her. Nonresistance is the key.