I've been married for 10 years and without exception, every argument we've ever had remains unresolved.<p>My husband does not allow me my feelings and leaves the room pouting, when I express them. He maintains this posture until something or someone forces him to speak to me.<p>Almost without exception, I end up apologizing for my feelings. This leaves me feeling drained and alone.

Briana,<p>Well from a womans point of view....I have been married for almost 10 years and have gone through simular problems. Sounds like your husband doent like to confront issues with you. I use to apologize for bringing up my feeling on issues also. My husband use to be very defensive on just about everything I would bring up. I really worked hard on getting him to see the problem of his behavior everytime we talked about issues. Now that he has dealt with his bad disposition, we have much better comunication. I strongly encourage you to be bold and straight forward with what you want to bring up to your husband..dont back down..let him see that he is leaving issues unresolved by acting this way. Be Bold, and get those feeling out into the open. If its something that you and your husband need to deal with, then just do it. One of the worst things for a marriage is to stuff your feeling and never deal with things. It only builds up inside of you and causes alot of resentment eventualy.I'll say it again to be Bold when talking to your husband....if he continues like this and you feel your still getting no where....then I would sugest getting counseling for the two of you.. I wish you all the luck!!!........freesun....<p>[This message has been edited by freesun (edited 11-19-98).]

freesun,<p>Thanks! Believe me, I have been bold. I agree, couseling is the next step. My husband would never go, so it will be just me.<p>I can't change him, maybe I can come to understand him.<p>I'm glad you were able to get through to your husband. How wonderful that must have felt!<p>thanks again!<br>b

B, oh screammmmmmmm, I certainly relate to what you are going thru, me too. I just sent my husband via email Dr, Haley's negotiating domestic duties, I a,m feeling drained too. He will do something if I ask, but always with a bad attitude and with anger that just makes me wish I did it myself so I don't have to go thru his anger/attitude. He has lived alone for 1o months brefore we got back together and he did all the things one needs to do when living alone. Now that he is back, he has relinquished everything to me, I am not working so I have been doing everything, but it is still so stressful to me as this last affair has been so painful and emotional that I am still vvery sensitive, I get anxiety attacks with his anger/mood swings. I get so tired and frustrated. I am going to try and sit down with him when he is approachable and ask for help, find out what is the main things that are important to him, what he wants to do and what he would like me to do...as Dr. Harley suggests. We'll see....hang in there. JADE

bianna<p>I can relate to what you're saying because I was one of those husbands. My wife would come to me with a problem and I would either ignore her or leave the room. I feel listening and communication is the key to a good marriage. You definitely should not go to a counselor by yourself because it's for couples. You guys should never go to sleep without resolving an argument. Who's to say that tomorrow is promised to either one of you and that would hurt if either one of you is not there to wake up to. Please tell your husband that if he truly loves you he needs to wake up or he will be just like me divorced. Good luck.