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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 10 |
I've been married for 10 years and without exception, every argument we've ever had remains unresolved.<p>My husband does not allow me my feelings and leaves the room pouting, when I express them. He maintains this attitude until some situation requires him to speak to me.<p>Almost without exception, I end up apologising for my feelings, just to end the pouting. This leaves me feeling drained, alone and resentful.<p>He has pushed me so far away, I don't know what to do. If I try to talk to him, the only thing he wants is to be right. He accepts nothing short of total submission to his feelings.<p>Any thoughts?<p>[This message has been edited by Bianna (edited 11-14-98).]
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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 79
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 79 |
Bianna: I can really identify with your situation. My husband sounds very much like yours. I think my husband's problem is he doesn't like any type of conflict. So, if I voice an opinion about something that is contrary to what he thinks, he simply gives me the silent treatment. (This is how his mother is and she always taught him that was the way to "get back" at the other person.) Just like your situation, there is never any resolution. I've been married for 21 years and as time as gone by, he has improved a "tiny" bit, but still has a very long way to go. Sometimes, I would just give anything for a husband who would stand up and fight with me. <p>I wish I had a solution for you. My husband childhood was very bad, and I suspect he was abused, but then he won't talk to me about it. <p>Lisa<p>
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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 10 |
Lisa,<p>Thank you so much for commiserating with me! It's nice to know I'm not alone. I don't know where he gets this from.<p>What do you do? It's like having a pouting child around the house. After 10 years, I just let him pout and go about my housework.<p>I don't acknowledge his behavior. I treat him as if nothing is wrong.<p>Of course, as you well know, the very fact that his feelings are not attended to, is my fault. I can't win.<p>Now, here's the funny part. If I behave this way, he explodes, telling me I'm childish for pouting.<p>This double standard is crazy. It's almost comical.<p>21 years, huh? You're my hero.<p>thanks Lisa!<br>b<p>[This message has been edited by Bianna (edited 11-17-98).]
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