I've been married for almost 3 years. I have had some problems with jealousy in the past. My problem is that my wife will not let the past be the past. She is bulimic and has held on to past hurts all of her life. If I was to just call her at work she would think I'm checking up on her. I don't want to check on her and haven't. I realize what my problems were and I'm in the process of changing not only for her but for myself, because it does'nt hurt anyone as much as myself. I'm afraid she will not let go of the past and our marriage will end. I don't know what I can do to help matters. Sometimes I feel like just giving up because I feel beat. Any advise would be appreciated.

Skgill,<p>Well I would sugest what you really need to do is find the right time to sit down with your wife and talk about this problem. Communicating is absolutely crutial. When there is a problem in a marriage, the best way to resolve a conflic is to get the spouse to respond to it and deal with it. She may have alot of past hurts and doesnt want to deal with any of it, and as a result she's not trusting anyone, and causing more problems. You need to tell her gently and kindly that this untrusting attitude is effecting the marriage in a negitive way. She may need to see a professional counselor.There is hope......Most Important factor is (1) Get this out into the open, so that your wife can look at the problem and hopefully deal with her past or maybe it is something she is not presently happy with. Let her know that you would love for her to be trusting of you. If she has lost trust in you for some reason than find out why and work on getting her trust back again. There is hope! Every problem in a marriage can be worked through, but it takes two. Hang in there and dont give up!!!! <p>[This message has been edited by violet1 (edited 11-27-98).]