My wife an I have been married for over nine years. Our conflict is religious differences. I am a non-denominational Christian and she has just gone back to Catholicism.<br>Our religious differences have been a point of contention since we started dating. I would not consent to marriage until our theological differences were resolved, especially when I came to having and raising our children. We attended a conference sponsored by "Christians Evangelizing Catholics" in which she turned her back on her Catholic up bringing. We felt at this time it was right to get married.<p>Nine years and two children later she felt "drawn" back to Catholicism and started attending the Catholic church when I was out of town on business. I travel a great deal and believe my absence has had an influence on her decision. She is now a devout Catholic.<p>We have spent the last year in endless arguments over apologetics written by many theologians, each one disputing what the other says. (an endless circle) As you can conceive this has only led to hurt and strife and the Love Buster's have really been huge. It has had a huge impact on how I feel about her. I love her but have become angry and verbally hurtful to her at times which I know has probably pushed her deeper into Catolicism. I know she did not intentionally do this to hurt me but I feel very betrayed and decieved and it has had a great effect on my trust for her and how she teaches the children about faith, especially when I have to go out fo town.<p>We are both very commited to our marriage and are in it for however long it takes to resolve our differences. We both admit that if we had known then what we know now we probably wouldn't have gotten married. But divorce is not an option for either one of us. I am not sure how long we can say that though. I trust God will see us through this. <br>My feelings aside though, our differences are now having an affect on our kid's church life. I go a Bible non-denominational church and she a Catholic. We tried the "I'll go to your church and you go to mine" routine but it is really a logistical nightmare on us and two young children. Besides I don't want our kid's to be exposed to Catholic doctrine. I firmly believe that at it's very core doctrine according to scripture has been twisted.<p>Questions:<br>1. What can my wife and I do to achieve the "same mind of the same Spirit" as stated in scripture?<br>2. How can I better deal with her conversion?<br>3. What can we do about church for our kid's?<p>Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and God Bless!

Gas,<p>Well this is sure a tough situation your in. I'll try my best to give you some light on the issues.To your first question on how can you and your wife attain the same mind and spirit as quoated in scripture....I would strongly sugest that you and your wife need to lay down your differences, and you need to determine what you do agree on. Your faith in God would be a good place to start.I dont know how strong your christian faith is,or how much of your life is yeilded to Jesus? but I feel the only way to get that same mind and spirit together is by the spirit alone. It cant be forced. Its time to no longer focus on your wifes religion.Let go of that worry. It hasnt done any good to fight out the differences. Jesus says "not by might, not by power, but by his spirit alone. I belong to a non denominational church, I was raised a catholic, so I can see what the differences are in those two religions. You need to continue to grow srong in your faith and Jesus will give you the wisdom that is needed in this sitution.This will be a sure way to be able to deal with her faith.You both have a faith, that is one truth there.And that faith that you both have is in Jesus Christ.Find those truths that you can build on in your marriage, not the differences.Your children will be okay. Once you and your wife can build on those truths that you do have, Than I feel things will work them selves out.This may take some time, you'll need to aproach this whole entire situation differently from this point on. (1)Lay it all down at Jesus feet, <br> (2)lay all the difference down<br> (3)continue to grow strong in your <br> faith.<br> (4)Build that faith in your children<br> (5)dont focus on differences <br> any more.<br> (6)Focus on your faith in God that <br> you both have, and build from <br> there.<br> Remember that the Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness,Faithfulness and Self controll.Its by his spirit alone. Hang in there!!!!!<p>

Hi Gas,<p> I can appreciate your situation as my wife and I are mile apart theologically. Violet is right to suggets that you trust in God any lay the situation at his feet. I would add the following thoughts.<p> Choose your "battles" very carefully. "Don't major in the minors" as others would say. (I'm an Evangelical Christian) Catholicism relies upon "Church Tradition" as well as the Bible in their teachings, where religions like yours and mine rely exclusively on the Bible. (Sola Scriptura) It sounds like you're having the same feelings that Martin Luther had some 500 years ago. <p> There are enough things that you and your mate DO agree upon. The divinity of Christ, the inerrancy of the Bible, the Trinity, etc. Don't get caught up in arguing over whether Christ is actually present at the Lord's Table. Many theologians can't agree upon this anyway. Rejoice in what you DO agree upon.<p> I would suggest that you do whatever you can to attend church with each other. I don't think that alternating churches is too far out. This way you can both show tolerance of each other's beliefs. <p> As for the kids, I would submit that they attend both churches with you and your wife. It's most important to see unity (or at least cooperation) between the two of you. Although I can understand you not wanting to expose your kids to Catholic teaching, you should already know that the more you try hiding something from children, the more the will desire to see it. Expose them to both and let them choose. Eventually, each man must choose for himself.<p> I think that if you and your family make a point of reading the Bible at home, that it's truth will make itself evident. This applies to your kids as well. If your church is teaching Biblical truths, this will be backed up by the Bible. Catholic teachings that are contrary to the Bible will be exposed as lies. Rely on the Bible as your sole source of truth and I think you'll do well!<p>I'd like to hear how things work out. Feel free to e-mail me at Vvetter@Tribune.com<p>Val<br>(The Husband)