My wife and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and have a wonderful 9 month old son. But I am facing a request for separation and possible divorce. <p>I must explain that most of this has been building up for several months if not longer. One of the biggest problems has been my parents. They are very insensitive to what they say and do to all their family, and it has caused my wife and me many heartaches. Enough that I need to completely cut them off from our lives. This is very difficult as they only live 15 minutes away and don't believe that they are causing any problems. I am able to do this but I feel my wife trying to blame everything on them/me. I have been to counseling my myself and it is like pulling teeth to get her to go. I know that if we went together she might realize that we can work it out. <p>It keeps haunting me that this is not the only problem. I have tried to talk to her about anything else, and she says it is nothing. I wonder if I should be feeling that I have been the main reason for her unhappiness, or is she trying to put it all her problems in one basket. I don't know how to reach her in order to find out.<br> <br>I would say that we are both in withdrawal now and I don't know how to proceed in getting back to intimacy. I love her very much, but with neither of us communicating I don't know what to do. Any help or suggestions will be greatly appriciated.<br><p>[This message has been edited by rkt (edited 12-19-98).]

rkt,<p>I can sure feel your frustration by reading your letter. I feel that the best advice I can give you is to maybe allow some space between you and your wife. If she has requested for separation at this point and doesnt want to deal with any of the problems in your marriage, than all you can do is allow some space for her. Alot of times when frustrations build and build and build in a marriage...one spouse or the other will just want to (bail out) and put all the blame on someone eles, than your left with all the broken pieces of your marriage. Your wife is going to have to be willing to give your marriage another chance. One of the most valuable ways to bring a marriage closer together is to admit to one another your mistakes and faults and asking for forgiveness from one another.If your wife has alot of anger towards you for reasons, than start by identifying why. You need to get to the root of the issues with her. Your parents will definitely need to back off and keep their opinions to them selves. Let your wife know that you love her and want her to give the marriage a chance. Try not to get overwhelmed at all the things that have gone wronge in your marriage, but begin to look back and learn from experience how to move foward and learn from the mistakes. Your marriage can be saved, it will take some time. If she continues to put all the blam on you, that everything is your fault, all you can do is communicate to her that you want to work things out and that there is hope.Hopefully she will at some point respond to you and allow your marriage another chance.You may need to give it some time. Just continue to take care of your buisness and let God take care of the rest!!Hang in there!!There is hope,I'll keep the both of you in my prayers! <p>[This message has been edited by violet1 (edited 12-19-98).]

violet1<p>Thanks for your response. I am still very frustrated with this whole thing and have agreed to move to an apartment with the condition that we will go to counseling together. She said okay but still thinks that there is no way she will ever "be in love" with me again. I can only hope that a counseler can help us both. <p>I know that I must make some drastic changes myself, but I also think she does too. If I am mistaken about this then there is no hope. <p>Maybe time apart will be the beginning of getting this resolved. I want to what is best and that is to make her realize that she and my son come first, and I need to completely distance myself from my parents until that is done. It just seems so difficult to do when she does'nt see any hope. <p>Thanks, I'll keep you posted.<br>

rkt,<p>I just want to add that by reading the last sentence that you wrote in your reply back that Its so difficult when your wife doesnt see any hope.I just really want to encourage you again that there is HOPE! and dont feel like your alone. Your Heavenly Father will give you all the support and strength that you need if you let him...He knows the way!!