I am married for the second time. My husband does not have any children of his own. I have four children from my previous marriage ranging in ages from 18-15. Most of the conflicts we have involve the children. As some background info my two older boys are both chemically dependant and have been to treatment. The oldest is doing well and in college and has been sober for three years. The younger one has been home for a couple of months after being in a juvenille facility for using drugs. He had other previous problems with the law before this. I feel that as a parent I have been through the wringer twice and it has been very hard for me to deal with. I understand why my husband would have trouble trusting my son because of his previous actions, but I feel that he does not contribute any help in the situation, he only seems to make it worse. I have gone to most of the parent things by myself. He doesn't help much because he is not home when the children and I are (He works nights.). I am feeling like I am at the end of my rope with him. An example of the problem is the following. This week because of the holidays my husband is working days (7am - 3pm). He was not happy with my son's grades on his report card and the fact that he has been skipping school and I think that is understandable, but instead of talking to my son about it, he woke the whole family up at 6:00 am (We did not need to be up until 7:00am) by stomping and turning on lights in my son's room and saying things to him like "I will not have loafers in my house. I pay for everything and it's my house. If you don't like it get out, etc." I was also upset because I have been very sick this week and had been coughing most of the night. I was also upset because I felt he could have discussed what he wanted to do with me first and I felt that he was acting like a child himself. I also felt that he should try to talk reasonably to my son about the problems and how we felt about what he was doing. The other thing he did was unplug our cable without letting me know so I called them and reported it to not be working. I felt like a fool because I had to call them back and say that a cable had come loose. The verbal abuse has become unbearable. I do not want another failed marriage, but I am getting to the point that I don't think I can take it anymore. The other point I would like to make is that my oldest son has been doing very well over the last three years, but my husband has not been able to forgive him for all the "wrongs" he has done to him. I love my husband and I love my kids and I don't really know how to start fixing things. I feel that alot of the problems are my fault. Can someone show me the way?