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#53728 12/29/98 08:40 AM
Joined: Dec 1998
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Well, my husband is still denying any involvment with anyone and can't explain the "sweetie" message on his voice mail. He has always been honest and straightforward throughout our twelve years of marriage.I told him I will take his word for it and keep the 3 month trial of living happy under one roof deal. I still can't help but wonder...hmmm...<p>Last nite he accused me of hiring a private investigator of all things!!! He seems a little paranoid for someone with nothing to hide. I don't want to bash him cause there are so many wonderful qualities that this man possesses. This morning I found him sleeping on the couch and couldn't resist the urge to put my arms around him and nuggle. He didn't resist and I was a bit comforted. Well anyway a long road ahead for me/us!<br>Sheila

#53729 12/30/98 01:36 AM
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Hi, Sheila ... I'd say you should treat the situation as if he is actually having an affair. Start with "Plan A" right away: eliminate all love busters first, then attempt to deposit love units. Use the three month trial to which you've both committed to the best of your ability if you want to save your marriage.<p>Read as much as you can at this site (did I already say this?) and in books such as "Give and Take," "Love Busters," "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Surviving An Affair" ... there are also many other books recommended by various people on the forums.<p>Check out the Infidelity Forum for some wonderful suggestions as well as some stories that will let you know you certainly are not alone.<p>Keep posting. Hope things get better.<p>terri

#53730 12/31/98 11:21 AM
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Ask yourself,<br>Would your feelings change more if he was having an affair or if you two were truly togethger and happy. Follow planA and hopefully he will come around and tell you the truth. From experience, the truth has away of coming out. enjoy each other and rebuilt your love and be honest with him and he will tell you about it on his time.

#53731 12/31/98 04:11 PM
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Hello....I think you are in my exact situation. I love my husband dearly and we have a somewhat good relationship. He is still affectionate towards me but there are things that just don't add up. I'm not sure if he has had an affair, but am very suspicous. Read my post on the INFIDELITY section and you will understand why our situations are so similar. I'm really confused too.

#53732 01/04/99 07:54 PM
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Thanks for the replies guys! Plan A is in effect and New Years eve and that weekend went well. I initiated all but he was receptive and we basically enjoyed eachothers company. Keep crossing those fingers!!!


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