I am 26 and have been married 3 yrs. I have a few problems with my H. He is very insecure, and feels that all mistakes are failures. Therefore he is hard on my mistakes and blows up in anger if he thinks I am pointing out a mistake he has made. Foul language and storming out of the room figure prominently. We have been to a few church center counceling sessions. The couselor did say his temper is a problem. I always hibernate and sulk. I must be a contributor to this somehow. I try to avoid criticism but sometimes asking so much as "where did you put the mail from yesterday" can cause a blow up. I walk on eggshells at times. He says he is trying but sometomes I wonder. His temper, impatience, and eagerness to criticize others is really bringing me down. He loathes people that he thinks have made poor choices in their lives. He connects the mistake with the person. Advice?<p>[This message has been edited by Iris (edited 01-08-99).]

Tell him that unless he gets a grip on his angry outbursts (read give and take and this entire web page) then he is surly heading for a major mistake because you are losing love for him everytime he blows up. Explain that he needs to respect you enough to protect you from his anger. I really suggest you read about anger in this web site it has helped me a great deal in controlling mine

Please don't give up! There is something wrong and you guys really need serious help! Find a good counselor--church is a great place to start. Ask your counselor about Love is a Choice--good book regarding codependent relationships. Dr. Harleys materials are awesome but you guys first need to be able to talk. Thats why you need the counselor. Its almost a blessing that you are at the end of your rope....trust God, give him a chance to work, let him work on you first. I know all this from experience. It will be painful, but if you knew how bad our marriage was and how it has improved with alot of hard work, you can be assured there is hope for you. God bless you!