My husband and I have been having huge arguements every two days or so. The arguements are followed by two or three days of peace and then back to fighting. This is a horrible cycle, and I want it to stop. We are expecting a baby in about six months and I am worried that the fighting will only get worse once he arrives. We really need help on how to communicate and meet heach others needs. Our conflict results from the fact that my husband thinks that I do not SHOW him that I am thinking about his needs or wellbeing. He measures all of my actions from hanging clothes to researching a new carrer path (for him) as to how much I care for him. Please help me deal with this, if you could give me some pointer on things that I can do I would be most grateful. Counseling, just is not possible as we cannot afford it. Please just give a little insight , a third party's point of view.

I know this is going to sound simplistic, but it is the recommendation of many of the counselors whose books I've read - the best way to stop an argument is to stop participating in it. It's not easy, and you must do it in a polite and calm fashion, not by saying "I'm not even going to fight with you anymore." But it is extremely effective.<p>Michele Weiner-Davis, in her book "Divorce Busting," offers the view that if what you are doing to solve your problems doesn't work, don't try it at a higher intensity - try something completely different!<p>Hope this helps somewhat!<p>terri

I agree with Terri. You must find a way to resolve conflict in your marriage without emotional fights. One exercise that many councelors suggest is reflection. Sit down with your partner and say how you feel. Then ask your partner to repeat back, in his/her own words, what you have said. Understanding the other person's point of view is a big step toward resolving the conflict between you. Another thing councelors often to is to analyze your role model's behavior. In most cases this would be your parents. Are you repeating behavior that you saw as you grew up? How did your parents handle conflict? Were they able to do it in a healthy way?<p>Books are also a good suggestion, as well as to read this site. You will find many of the advice from these sources as you would from a councelor.<br> <br>Best of luck to you. Your hard work will be worth it - for yourself and your child.