Hello Dr Harleys,<p>I am married for 2 years now and have a beautiful daughter turning 7 months soon. Both me and my husband are working full time. Our working hours differ so much so that we seldom get the time to sit and talk. <p>After buying a house in singapore (which cost us a bomb), we ended in almost SD$30,000 debt. But after a year we tried our best and manage to bring down the amount to half. <br>His other responsibility is to get his sister married off, since his father has retired. <br>In Indian culture, there is this caste system where they have to give dowry when they marry off their daughter. Due to the wedding expenses, our debts has gone up twice the ariginal amount again. In this crisis, he is going to pursue his studies in U.S this coming Fall 1999. Then I will be the sole supporter for the whole family. He want me to understand the family situation before buying anything. But when his mother or sisters request for something, without thinking twice, he immediately buys it and courier it to them. When I ask, his answer will be "Debts will be there all the time".<p>I can fully understand his responsibility as brother and to get his sister married off in a respectable way since it happens to be his culture. But doesn't he has to think of his own family (his wife & child) and the debts that we have? We try talkind it out but he raised his hand on me. <p>I have a feeling that he cares more for them then for me & our daughter. I have also<br>noticed that he is a change man now. <p>I'm feeling so lost and not knowing what to do now since he had hit me. Will staying separately for some time help? I want him to understand my feelings too rather then he just keep worrying for them. <p>Thank you<br>MVS<p> <p>
