This is the biggest conflict in our marriage. My husband tells me frequently that I dont pay attention to him or that I am not listening. Granted, there are times when I my mind is elsewhere, but when I know it is an important subject I give him my full attention. I say Im forgetful of conversations and incidents and he says its an excuse! Sometimes I think Im loosing it! He says he told me about a certain something 2 days ago and I dont recall anything being said. I know Im not that forgetful. For the most part, my husband is a wonderful man but I never know when I might set him off and its always over this "you didnt pay attention to what I said" thing. I love and respect my husband very much, but I dont want to always be afraid that something I say or dont say, something I do or dont do will set him off. He tells me it is a lack of respect and it hurts his feelings. I think he has a short fuse and lacks patience and should relax. Some input please?

In your husband's defense ~ I know how hurt I feel when I realize my husband has "tuned me out", or forgets something I've told him which I considered pretty important. I think it's usually the men that have this "listening" problem. In your case, perhaps your mind is preoccupied, and his statements, unless extremely important, are just flying by you. I know sometimes I have to make a real effort to "really listen" to my husband, when I've got alot on my mind, and he's going on about work or something that doesn't directly affect me. <br>If you make a real concentrated effort to hear what your husband is saying, things should improve. I also wanted to point out, though, that I have a friend with a similar problem to yours, and she has ADD. If you find despite all your efforts that you're still not able to concentrate on your husband's conversations, perhaps you could look into this possibility.

Jayne - thanks for your input. Maybe I do have a deeper problem like ADD.