My husband and I dated for 4 years before the pressure to get married started from family and friends. He could not handle it and left me. Said that he met someone else and did not want me around. Three months later he came back to me and said that he loved me. We got engaged after I graduated college the next year and had a year and an half engagement. We had a wonderful relationship of six years before we got married and it only got better with marriage. We lived together through the engagement and then after 3 months of marriage we decided to move in with one of his friends in order to save money to buy a house. We have now been married for over two and a half years and everything has been wonderful. I am not saying that we don't argue but by no means could I say that we fight. Everything has been wonderful!!! I got pregnant last January and we were both so very excited. I had a miscarriage in March which was devastating but together we got through it and have been trying to get pregnant since then. This month we would have been signing papers to buy a house that we have been so excited about since last October. We were scheduled to move in at the end of April. We have been buying furniture and talking about buying a dog after we moved in. Everything has been bliss... I thought he loved me as much as I did him. I thought that we both wanted the same things in life and that we had the "perfect marriage". <p>Out of the blue on Valentines Day he told me that he has been having these thoughts and feelings about our marriage and that he had to get away and think. I am devasted. I had no idea that he was or ever had a problem. We cried together all day on Valentines Day and it seemed as though he just needed time to sort out his feeling. On Monday he stayed at his mothers house. I went to my doctor to get a referral for marriage counseling and then on Tuesday I went to the psychologist and told her everything. She said that we should come in for marital counseling. When I got home there was a letter on our bed from him saying that he knew it when we broke up before marriage and he knows it now... he doesn't love me as a wife. He said that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he can't fight these feeling anymore. He says that this thought has always been in the back of his mind but he thought it would go away with time. He never discussed this with me!!! I feel so lost and confused. I need to understand why this has happened??? I thought we did everything right??? I saw him last night and he seems so cold and so far away. I don't know what to do? I can't just let our marriage slip away in what has been to me 5 days. He says that he has thought about this for a while now so he is ready to end it. He said that he would go to counseling if it will help me but it doesn't sound like he is going to try. Our first and hopefully not last appointment is next Tuesday. <p>What should I do? I don't want to lose him but he says that he doesn't want to try!!!<br>

Hi:<p>Yes, even men have emotional problems. This I believe is a person with internal turmoil.<br>I suggest you got to site www.sigler.org/roach and print men's and women's sections of "Marriage-the High Calling" I just was given this write up by my sister-in-law (my wife's older sister) and if your husband will read and implement things, all may improve for you both. Good <br>luck. My own case is under "negotiating in marriage - separated, trying to reconcile"<p>Gary

I am going through the exact same thing as you. My husbadn and I had a break up while dating. Even then he didn't tell me until he made his decision. We got back together, and got pregnant. I never pressured him, but after the baby was born he asked me to marry him. We always had a good relationship. Now he's saying he doesn't know (although he asked him) that God really spoke to him about getting married, that maybve he acted too soon. Now he tells me (out of the blue) he doesn't love me anymore. WHAT?!! We have a besutiful son, and once a beautiful relationship (with moderate problems). I say, if you feel God may not have told you ,why can't you think the enemy is talking to you now? I have hope. God can restore this. I don't have much of a chance without him. But, I just wanted to let you know their IS someone else in this world going through the same thing. I will pray for you. It's hard when you think your spouse is unhappy, but your happiness seems to be conflicting. That's what makes them (H) very hard to get to. They feel your answers are totally against what is best for them. I'm learning and striving to be a better person for myself, my son , and yes-even my husband.<p>God Bless