My husband has a way of avoiding communication. In ways it is fine - it avoids arguing, BUT I think its unhealthy the way he resolves our problems and don't know what to do about it. Before I give you the particular situation, let me say this: our marriage is good, our kid are great, and our life is fine - but I always see room for any marriage improving~!<br>My 15 year old is in highschool this year. He made the JV baseball team. He has to bring his bat to school everyday for practice along with a batbag, equiopment, etc. Passes are given to children to bring them into the school becuase unfortunately, bats are now considered weapons. Anyway, on days that he has ball, he does not like riding the bus to school. He has a huge batbag, a bookbag and (I think) is just a teen who is embarrased to ride the bus. He is funny about getting to school on time (or early) and the bus drops them "when the bell rings". He's been begging and pleading for us to take him to school. I cannot take his as I leave my home at 6:30 am to drive downtown to be at work by 7:30 am. The school will not allow kids to be dropped till 7:30 a.m. My husband doesn't have to be at work till 10am and drops our baby (age 3) at daycare at 7:50 am. (oh, the school is 3.5 miles from our house). He could very easily drop the baby off and drop my 15 year off at school. BUT, he thinks this is stupid. He thinks he should ride the bus. Period. <br>I asked him yesterday if he would do this for me as a favor everyday (the 15 yr old is his stepson) - and he said "fine, I'll do it". I asked him if he was going to be mad and he said YES, but I'll get over it like I do everything else. <br>Last nite I said I wanted to talk to him about it - he said he didn't want to discuss it - didn't need to hear the reasons, etc, that he said he would do it and thats the end of it. <br>WHAT SHOULD I DO? <br>What makes men this way? Any help guys?<br>

Can't say as I have any great advice for you, seeing as I'm not a man and haven't dealt with this exact situation, however, I will tell you what I do know.<p>Some *people* (more often men than women, however) will do anything to avoid a confrontation. They will leave you in their dust; they will walk away from someone they love; they will deal with it on their own; they will do whatever they have to do to please everyone else. <p>When your husband said, "but I'll get over it like I do everything else." that was a huge hint!!!!<p>My impression is that this man is very passive with you, and tries to avoid confrontation as much as possible.<p>The man I am with also leaves whenever we start to argue. He just isn't equipped with the same strength as I am. He walks away from an argument, and would almost rather lose the relationship than fight to save it.<p>As for the pleasing you part of it: Sometimes people try to please everyone else but themselves. They want everyone to be happy, even if they aren't doing what they feel is right for them.<p>I would pay more attention to what your husband's needs are. Fulfill him, and give him messages that he doesn't have to be perfect for everyone else, and that his needs are equally as important, as is his opinion re: this issue.<p>Let him know that you respect him, and would like to come to an agreement together on this. And whatever you do, don't contradict one another in front of the children. Come to an agreement on your own and then present it to them TOGETHER.<p>Don't ever force him to communicate. Just open the lines of communication by sharing how you yourself feel. That will make him feel less vulnerable. <p>Good luck, hope I've helped a little.<br>