From the beginning of our 2 and a half year relationship, until 5 months ago, I hadn't been completely honest with my boyfriend. I lied to him about insignificant things (orgasms, gifts, penis size, etc.) from a previous sexual relationship, yet was honest about things I felt were important (partners, safety, etc). He repeatedly told me he only wanted the truth, yet for almost two years, I was not honest about everything, even after he relentlessly questioned me. Then, when I was honest about everything, of course, he still didn't believe me. He said he only wanted to be sure I was telling the truth about two things, and I was. In order to prove that I was, I took a lie detector test. He said that as long as he knew I was being truthful about those things, he would drop the issue. Personally, I felt once I took the test, it would help significantly, however I felt it would take time and serious work to rebuild that trust. Though things have been better than ever, he told me he still does not trust me like he feels he should, that he should have been able to do so right away. He said he thinks there is still something I'm not being honest about.<P>To give a little more background, I lied and told him things I did not do and I lied about things I did do. I tried to be what I thought he wanted. When we would argue, he became verbally abusive and so I lied about things I had done to avoid that. The verbal abuse has stopped, yet I feel as though we can't really talk. We can't seem to have a good conversation without him getting angry and making comments about the past, "Well pat yourself on the back," or " you should have thought about that when you lied," and without me crying and getting upset. I also feel that in his eyes, I am not entitled to say how I feel, or expect certain things from him because according to him, I didn't give him what he wanted when I wasn't completely honest.<P>All I want to do is work hard at repairing the damage I have done. He was not a trusting person to begin with, and I certainly have not helped. Though I wasn't in the past, I have realized how important honesty is to him and therefore, I am completely honest.. I actually prefer it that way. I feel better because I have nothing to hide. But now I have to work to rebuild that trust. I feel, though, we both have to work together. What does it take to rebuild trust and how do we/I do that? How long does something like that take? Can we work this out? Please help me. I love him very much.
