I also posted this in the "young marriages" section."<P>I am looking for opinoins and thoughts. I am not involved in any religion, and I don't want to read alot<BR> of books. <BR> I am recently married and already having a very hard time staying commited to my marriage. (I am<BR> not at all interested in having an affair, or seeking romantic or emotional support from someone else).<BR> In my life with my husband, I have ended up being responsible for everything, from making sure my<BR> husband gets up in the morning, to all housework, cooking, paying bills, car maitenence, etc... I also<BR> work full time and he works part time. I am sure I am being overly negative, but it seems like all he<BR> does is watch TV and make messes for me to clean up.<BR> We have tried to talk and talk about it, but all that happens is that I talk about how I feel, and he<BR> never says anything. (It seems that we don't talk with eachother, I just talk at him.) I always end up<BR> feeling like the victim. He has refused to go to counseling (together or seperately), read books, etc...<BR> (after all, he refuses to even talk about our relationship, what do I expect?) I have done the nag nag<BR> thing, the refusal to help him with his life anymore thing, the why bother to talk to you anymore thing,<BR> ... sigh... I am sure he has alot going on in his head, and he is probably clinically depressed, but<BR> there is nothing I can do but make things worse (it seems).<BR> Anyhow, as you can see, I feel sorry for myself, and I feel that I am in a position where I have to<BR> make a unilateral decision about our relationship. I really don't like being in yet another situation<BR> where everything is up to me. Anyhow, the conclusion I have come to is that the best thing would be<BR> for me get my own place, maybe in a few months, so I can have my life back, and let him sort his<BR> problems out.<BR> Should I tell him this now? I know it will make him very upset, and I certainly don't want to add more<BR> emotional nurturing to my job-list. I am already exhausted. But, this seems like the kind of thing I<BR> shouldn't just spring on him when the time is right for me.<BR> What do other people think? <BR>

You don't need to read a LOT of books. But, why not check out a couple. Don't be afraid of counseling. I think you have a serious problem on your hands. But, it seems your decision is to just end things. Take a deep breath. Step back and learn a little about whats happening (if you can find time) before you make the big move. Try NOT doing his jobs for him. It's called natural consequences with children. Tell him you are too busy to say for example cook 4 nights a week. If he doesn't want to cook, you'll be eating out and he can fend for himself. Or, getting him up in the morning (geez). What would happen if he slept in. Let him find out.