My husband of 23 years recently told me he is tired of me and is leaving. This came as big blow to me. This all started about three weeks ago. My husband started acting distant and strange to me. He refused to tell me what was wrong. On our way to church, Sunday morning 2 weeks ago, he told me he was resigning from Pastoring his church that day. I was shocked, this was so out of his character. We have never made any decisions without the other ones opinion. From that day forward he started talking to me very hateful. I would cry and plead with him to tell me what was wrong. All he would say was, I did not want to hear it. He began to come home very late refusing to tell me where he had been. Finally this past Sunday he told me he did not love me anymore and was leaving. I felt like he had tore my heart out. I begged him to tell me what I could do to get him to stay. He said there was nothing I could say or do that would make a difference. He denies that there is someone else. Is there any hope for us or I just fooling myself.

\<p>[This message has been edited by HollyAnn (edited July 07, 1999).]

It always seems like these things come out of left field.<P>I urge you to read all that you can. Anything with the name Harley on it is a good choice. Try to stop begging and pleading - been there, done that - doesnt work. He will have to amek teh decision to stay for himself and for his reasons. Please, please, please dont make disrespectful judgements or tell him he needs to seek help. Just stand by what you believe - that you want the marriage to work out and tell him that when he is ready to discuss it, you are willing. Remember, what he says he believes with his whole being - dont tell him he is wrong - he will only retreat. It will take time and hopefully he will give you the time to change things in baby steps. <P>Take care.<P>Matt

Thanks for your concern. I listened to the tapes "Love Must Be Tough", Since my last posting. I have stopped begging him to stay. I am seeing a counselor now to help me get through this. My husband has definitely made up his mind to leave me. He has rented him an apartment and will be moving soon. Sometimes he comes home and sometimes he doesn't. The nights he doesn't he claims he rented an motel room, because he doesn't want to come home. I am living one day at a time and trying not to dwell on the future without him. Thanks again for your response.