My husband goes out with the guys from work sometimes for happy hour, usually no big deal cause he has just 1 or 2 beers & is home in time for dinner.<P>Last night, however, they went out cause his boss is moving. The happy "hour" went for 5 hours. Then one guy suggested going to a topless bar. My husband said he would just go on home, but they teased him & called him a wuss & wimp. He decided to go with them & they went in one car. He didn't get home till 12:30 p.m. & I was already mad cause I had been waiting, wondering if he had drank too much to drive, & wondering why he hadn't called to say he'd be late. He said the guys wanted to close the place down, but he insisted at midnight they they give him a ride back to his car. <P>When he got home (not drunk thank goodness), he admitted that they went to a topless bar & I got so angry. He then said that one guy had paid for all of them to have lap dances, & I went toally ballistic, yelling & crying. We stayed up for hours arguing & I cried a lot. <P>This is a 2nd marriage for both of us, & I felt betrayed that he had gone to at topless bar after only 1 1/2 years of marriage, especially when he was out so late & I was worried. I'll admit the lap dance thing really freaked me out too. He said that the guys said they have done that before, & their wives don't care as long as they come home to them. They said, "It's not a big deal. We don't mess around on our wives, we just look." Yeah, except the women they look at are almost nude & dance in a very sleazy sexual way, & alcohol is involved which can sometimes make men act differently than they normally would. <P>My 1st husband is an alcoholic & I spent many nights waiting for him to come home, not knowing where he was out drinking. He got 2 DWI's when we were married. So I know my knee-jerk reaction to this came from my unhappy past, but I still think happily married men don't belong in a topless bar, unless their wives think it's okay.<P>I go to happy hour once in a while, when my busy working mom schedule is flexible, but the gals & I would never start bar-hopping all night without any consideration for our husbands. Maybe I'm jealous cause it seems that men (fathers) don't have as many resposibilities as women (mothers) do. <P>My husband is very sorry for hurting my feelings & feels guilty for giving in to peer pressure & not being assertive. He swears it won't happen again, & I believe him.<P>IS IT JUST ME - or am I just being unrealistic? I just know how I feel & I can't change that.<P>I appreciate any feedback. Thanks for listening - or, reading!<P>
