My husand and I have been together for 5 years (married for 4). First for us both. We have three children (2 mine and 1 ours). We lived together for over a year before getting married. When he moved into my apartment, he was added to everything, including my bank account. I have always been the one to handle our finances and there have been no problems until my husband took a new job that paid twice what he made before. Suddenly it was more important that he take care of the bills and how the money is spent. We accumulated an enormous amount of debt in 3 years (not frivulous spending) with several emergencies requiring the use of plastic (death in families, layed off from job, maternity leave, etc.). When my husband took this new job, we made a pack to get out from the debt within 2.5 years so that we can realize our dream of owning our own home. It's been a year since starting this job and the debt has not come down.<P>I have read the post from "frustrated newlywed" and liked her idea. This has been suggested by others as well, however, I'm a bit confused as to how to make this work effectively. What is the joint account used for? What is considered "personal needs"? In order to come up with a realistic allowance, I would have to figure out what should be paid with the "joint account". Do you buy food, clothes, and gas with the joint money? Do you put a limit on how much is spent on clothes?<P>Please help! Any suggestions from others out there who have this arrangement (separete accounts and it works) would be greatly appreciated. I'm at the end of my rope. I love my husband dearly but his money management habits are splitting us apart.<P>Thank you-<BR>

We now have different accounts because of our separation and impending divorce, but I can tell you, after living with a spendaholic, I will never share finances with another person ever again. I have given this a lot of thought, and here is the best I have come up with:<P>Separate checking and/or savings for each<BR>Separate credit cards for each<BR>A joint account that pays joint living expenses (mortgage, utilities, etc.) and each person contributes an amount agreed upon by both (% of expenses or % of salary, whatever works and covers the joint expenses)<BR>A joint savings that both contribute a certain amount each month to to cover joint goals (replacing appliances, vacations, etc.)<BR>Investment accounts for children that both parties contribute to for college, etc.<BR>Separate investment accounts for retirement<BR>Separate vehicles and loans on vehicles<P>And, most importantly, a pre-nuptial agreement that specifies division of the marital assets (house and savings account, mainly) and specifies the continued separation of the items above. All creditors will be notified upon application for credit or upon marriage for existing credit that the other person is NOT a signatory nor is a joint-holder for the accounts.<P>Sorry to sound bitter, but I got burned BAD by a financially irresponsible husband.