First off, I'm relaying this for another friend, so I'm a 3rd party here. <P>A friend left her husband about 3 months ago, they have a 7 month old child, she left with him. She has her own place and is self supporting. The father is able to see the child at anytime he chooses and has done so. But since she has settled in, she has started to date. Nothing serious, just going out and having some much needed fun to take her mind off matters. She has now learned that the father has been "watching" her while she's out and whom she's with. She met this guy about a month ago and they've had one date. He found out about this guy and now has threatened to file papers and fight for full custody of the child based on the fact that she is seeing another man. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but is she suppose to do nothing but sit at home all weekend while the father has the child until the divorce is final? Can't she have a life? I know for a fact that the father sure isn't sitting at home when he doesn't have the child, why should she? It seems that the father is planning on somehow twisting the story to make it look like this new guy is the reason for the breakup, which it is not. Like I said, they just met a month ago and had only one date. She claims to have talked to child welfare and they also say that the father can use this against her in court. How?! This is absurd! Does anyone have suggestions as to what she can do? She's really going nuts and she's also very affraid of losing her child and quit honestly the "new" guy she found who treats her like she deserves to be treated. But she feels he won't stick around or want to get involved with this. Please any help at all.

Blues:<P>As far as I know, there's little that's NOT fair game in divorce/custody hearings. They often become 2-way character assassinations.<P>One positive note for your friend: When it comes to child custody, most courts are INCREDIBLY biased towards the mother.<P>Your friend really needs the advice of a lawyer experienced in these matters.

Hi, not an expert by any means, but from what I understand the parent who has physical custody AND filed the divorce paperwork usually wins custody of the child.<P>Your friend needs to talk to an attorney, if she is unable to afford private counsel, there is always the State Legal Aid office.<BR> =)

A few thoughts here....<P>A local attorney would be able to provide insight about the bias of the particular judge in their divorce and possible custody battle. Most judges do indeed favor custody to the mother, esp. in cases involving such a young child. However, this is not always the case. And we all know it isn't necessarily fair as far as men vs. women in the dating scene. A woman is typically viewed much more harshly over this than a man. <P>Since there is such a potential for trouble here, I would highly recommend your friend to keep her dating life under wraps until after the divorce. Don't give him any more fuel for the fire. After all, we're talking about custody of her beloved baby. :-)<P>Just some suggestions....to do with what you will. I wish her all the best of luck.