We have been separated for a year. LOTS of things have happened. He was home for 30 days during Christmas and New Year. I have been faithful. He says he was faithful. I revealed info that I had lied about but that happened before we were married. He was/is very upset. We still love each other but our relationship is under stress and we have been separated for so long. He won't be home for good until late June. Is there anything I can do to make it better. He's scared of coming home and afraid things won't be the same. I too am afraid things won't be the same and that our marriage is done for. Help!

Hi Brown,<BR>I can empathize with you being a military wife. Before my Hubby and I were married, when spent a year+ separted by 6000 miles.<P>First off, HONESTY and OPENESS between you both. What makes this difficult is the distance. I am going to just through out some ideas that I have done.<P>WRITE, WRITE, WRITE. Be honest in that as well. If you are scared, then tell him. If you are sorry, tell him on paper. Give examples make it clear. I think, men can process information that they can read, much easier than having to listen. And it also allows you time to describe exactly what you feel, think, need, and want. Be CREATIVE! in your letters to him, get some of his favorite foods, magazines, etc and through those in a box, slap some stamps on it, and mail it. <BR>Change your attitude. You need to know you are a strong, deserving woman. Convey that verses being afraid things won't work out. If, if, if...if is nothing! Answer this, do you want your marriage to this man? If the answer is yes, take the positive attitude, if no, prepare yourself for a divorce. Find strentgh in yourself through any and all of life's events. Experience is life.<BR>Being that your Hubby is in the military, go get counseloring, by yourself or with him or even both. Counselors give advice, teach you different ways to argue, talk, listen.