I've been married for less than 2 years. over the past 6 months, my husband and i have joined a gym and began working out. prior to this, my husband smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day, drank beer, and basically did nothing in the line of working out. i decided 7 months ago to quit smoking due to high blood pressure and just basically because i wanted to feel better. he decided he wanted to compete in a bodybuilder's contest, so i was really excited for him. he decided to quit smoking also. i was really proud of him. although we spent a lot of money on supplements for him to train to compete in this contest, i felt it was worth it. well, in a big fight we had today, he told me that he felt that i had taken everything away from him...smoking, drinking, partying...i was floored. i feel like i've died inside and don't know how to change that. i really thought he was doing all of this for himself. i told him before we married that i wasn't a partier and it would be a mistake to marry me if he was, but he insisted he wasn't. well, now i feel like a complete fool and don't know which way to turn. does anyone have any suggestions? i'm desperate...tlbirdie

Don't understand how he could hold something like that against you! Afterall kicking, partying, Booze and especially tobacco of all things, isn't exactly the easiest thing for most to do. You really have to want to quit those things for yourself, and your own reasons. If he quit he must have wanted it!<BR>The fact that you led him in that direction (to quit) and he followed and complied, means he has a real respect for you and loves you.<BR>If he didn't, he'd be out behind the garage, sneakin a butt or two. I thing he said this because of anger within the arguement you two had.He perhaps said it to hurt you. I hope I'm right about all of this, people just say mean things when they are angry, we all do it.If he really does mean it, then the signs will be there, along with the booze and cigarettes......I hope this does not happen, but if it does- If he quit once, he can quit again, and that is common, especially with cigarettes.....I hope I have been some help.<BR>Manufacto<BR>manufactinteract@hotmail.com

thank you for taking the time to respond to my problem. i really appreciate it. everything you said makes sense. at this time, he is already smoking 2 packs a day and just had maybe 4 beers over the weekend. he also hasn't worked out in a week. i don't know if this is the signs you were talking about. i hope it's not leading in the wrong direction. i smoked for a week, i think out of anger..i'm not really sure, but i'm back on track now. i really want to feel good about myself and really think smoking inhibits that. i just some days have a bad feeling about where this is going, but we'll see. thank again...tlbirdie