Well, here's an update for the record books. Unfortunately for the wrong records. My W finally served me with divorce papers. I don't quite understand it all though. She gave me a letter last night telling me that she thought we should do this. The letter was repleat with memories from the past 14 years of our lives together. But the paperwork I got this morning had a decidedly different tone. I seemed angry. I just don't understand. I am so lost and I don't quite know what to do now. Sorry so glum, have a good weekend everyone.<P>------------------<BR>Janella - "...I'll be the greatest fan of your life..."<BR>Jerry<P>

grprof:<P>What do you want to do? If you don't want a divorce, I suggest that you let your wife know that and refuse to sign the papers. It'll take her some time to work through a "default" divorce.<P>Are there any advantages to you at this point to just sign the papers?

I'm sorry to hear that. I know your heart is breaking.<P>I, too, think you should stall the divorce. At least when it's all said and done you will be able to KNOW you did everything you could.<P>Does she ever say WHY she won't try with you? Can't forgive the hurts of the past? I was there once too ... but if she wants to commit to the marriage, and if she wants to commit her heart to Christ, she will KNOW that the only thing she can do is let go and LET GOD!<P>I hope something changes over the weekend.

I agree w/ the other guys - stall the divorce if you can.<P> But, if you can't....well, my one of my greatest advantages in all this mess is the support of my SIL. First, of course, she's close to my husband. Second, and maybe even more importantly, she had an affair during her first marriage. They separated and divorced. Eventually, years later, she and the om broke up and she got involved here and there. First H stayed calm, cool and collected while she went to pieces. Stayed her friend. Was her rock when she'd get hurt. You know the ending. He just kept on being there, even though he was dating too and actually living w/ someone for a couple of years. Their friendship blossumed. One day he asked her out - on a real date, not just lunch w/ a friend. I attended their wedding December 1997. they are honeymooners again.<P>Admittedly, this is rare, but it does happen - I've seen it here, too. She's noticed changes. Stall the divorce if you can, but also remember, divorce may not mean final, unless you need it to. This is taking a terrible toll on you as well.<P>I'll be praying for you.<P>Lori

I've just experienced it myself and don't really know what to tell you to do.<P>The only thing I can say is to follow your heart and your instincts, say some prayers and be true to yourself and the best person you can. <P>You can't control her actions or emotions but you can remain steadfast that you don't want a divorce (if you don't) and let it be known that this is her doing - not yours!!<P>Hang in there!! I honestly know exactly how you feel and I just keep in mind that I'm being led to wherever my life is supposed to go.<P>Hope this helps some....<P>Hugs and Strength to you,<P>Sheba

grprof, <P>I'm sorry. No advice, just prayers that God will comfort you during this tough time.<P>SHA

grprof -- I'm sorry for the pain you are feeling. I wish I could say something which would take the hurt away, but I do not seem to be very good at giving advice here.<P>I will only offer you my prayers.<P>God Bless

I'm so sorry, too.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

grprof,<P>I wish that I could give you the perfect answer to your problems. But please know that we are all here for you whenever you need us.<P>I have personally found comfort in the bible. A couple of my favorites were psalms, 23, 27, 34, & 35. These psalms enabled me to stand up and carry on when I felt like I would collapse.<P>Keep faith, because NOTHING is impossible with God. You can rest assured that time will bring change.<P>You have my prayers.<P>------------------<BR>Luv, Liza<P>Never fear, because God walks right beside you, and if you get tired, he will lift you up and carry you.

Be encouraged, this is really a rough time, but God is close to the brokenhearted. <P>I do believe she is feeling guilty about divorcing you, or she wouldn't have written that letter and given it to you. She probably wrote the letter [i]after[/] visiting at the lawyers office. <P>So stay close to your comforter, and trust in the Lord.