My husband has confessed that he did chat with 2 women and that it was more than friendship. He even sent one a poem that he said was wrote for me. I recieved it the next day but still I am soo upset. He said that he wanted to hear form another woman what my reaction would be but how would they be able to give him a good idea how I would react they didn't know that he was married. I know that he hasn't wrote these women for more than 3 months and in one case it was over 7 months ago.<P>He says that he's sorry he doesn't want to loose me of our child. He has begged me not to leave.He says that he wants to work it out and that he will never do this again!! He is not going use the computer unless we are together and he has agreed to start counseling with the Harley's.<P>I have bought several of Dr Harley's books but what I want to know is there a way to find out if he is for real. does it just take time??? <P>Please someone help!!

Seems to me like he's lost a lot of your trust. Trust takes time to build back.<P>His actions will prove to you in time if he is "for real". Let him prove it to you.<P>I think time is the key here.<P>And if you want to be with him, and have a trusting and open relationship with him, sooner or later you're going to have to trust him.<P>Just give it time, and don't push yourself faster than you think you can go. And be honest with him, but don't criticize him all the time for his mistakes. Let him prove that he is a better man than to make those mistakes again.<P>In time you'll know if he's for real, and then things will be as they are meant to be.