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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 35
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OP
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 35 |
My H and I are newly married and still dealing w/ living together conflicts. Whenever I express my frustration or anger at something (leaves the bathroom floor wet, doesn't pick up after himself) he gets upset and says maybe he should divorce me because he's just no good. <P>I don't nag. I always try to address the issue in a calm voice using "I" statements. He just takes things too personally. We have discussed this before and he agrees that he interalizes too much, but we continue to have the same conversation. I have told him I don't want him to leave, that it's ok for me to be frustrated and that doesn't mean I don't want to be with him anymore. <P>On Saturday he backed out of a housewarming party we were supposed to attend. I didn't want to take the (his) car because I am uncomforatable driving it (it's a standard and sports car type). I was perfectly willing to get a ride w/ someone else. He got hurt and said he didn't know if he wanted to come home to me because his car wasn't good enough for me. I have told him that I want my own car, but he argues we don't really have the money. He said we could trade in his car in Feb. for a car we both can drive, but it's still not ok with him that I don't feel comfortable driving his car. <P>If I remind him to put the toliet seat down he comments that we should move into a place with 2 bathrooms so I don't have to put up with all his disgusting habits. But I NEVER said that he or any of his habits are disgusting or that I wanted a separate bathroom. <P>Does anyone have any insight into how I can handle this situation? If I never state my feelings and frustrations they will just back up and eventually explode. But every time I voice my feelings he feels like dirt. Please help.
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