This morning I just endured my H's second angry outburst this weekend. They always seem always seem to be related to work, as if it's somehow my fault that he has to hold down a job; that if I wasn't around, or if we didn't have a house but still lived in an apartment, he could just quit whenever he wanted.<P>Friday night he came home and was angry at me because he'd told me we'd go shopping for an air conditioner and this meant he couldn't work late in the air conditioned office, but would have to go in over the weekend when the a/c is off. He laid on the guilt with a trowel. I told him, "You could have called me and told me you couldn't come with me." <P>Him: "I didn't know you were home."<P>Me: "You could have left a message on the machine."<P>I left him alone for a few hours and he calmed down.<P>This morning, I woke up at 5 AM to the sound of heavy, windswept rain on the window. But it didn't sound like rain. I got up and looked outside, and it looked like rain. I turned on the light because it wounded like water was coming in the house. I went downstairs, and he was coming around front with the hose. Apparently I'd set the basement door to auto-lock, and he'd locked himself out when he'd gone out for a cigarette. So he was angry at me for that, saying now he'd have to work into the heat of the day, blah blah.<P>I just quietly said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know. Now I do. I won't do it again."<P>I felt this was the right thing to do. Usually, I go off into this groveling, "Please don't be angry with me" thing, and it escalates into a big fight, with him getting enraged and me crying.<P>I'm trying not to do that anymore...I'm trying to let him just cool off. <P>But this seems to NOT be what he wants. He claims to hate the anger/grovel fights, but he was even angrier with me when he left because I didn't get into one.<P>Yes, it sucks that he has to go into the office and move computers. Yes, his job is very demanding. But why be angry at me for it? Does he think any other woman would let him quit any time he gets upset with his job? Does he think his OW/friend, the one who GOT HIM THE INTERVIEW FOR THIS job would let him sit around all day while she supports him? <P>He says he wants to pull his weight, but he also wants to fly off the handle every time the job gets him upset. <P>I'm just so tired of him taking it out on me.<P>We're supposed to go to my friend's house this afternoon for a BBQ, and I'll wager 10 bucks that he won't want to go, and I'll either have to go myself or crap out.<P>
