My husband and I had our 1 year anniversary last month. Since then, he has become a different person. He is disinterested and at times even mean. About two weeks ago, I finally got him to admit that he was unhappy. He said he doesn't care about me anymore or feel like he used to. He said when he goes away on business he doesn't want to call me, he doesn't miss me and he doesn't want to come home. He told me a long list of things that I do that annoy him. <P>So I have tried to change. I thought things were going better but we had a terrible weekend and last night he said he still feels the same. <P>I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I want to make it better and make him love me again. But on the other hand, if everything I do bothers him, just being around him makes it worse.<P>I'm afraid if we seperate, that will be the end. So, I brought up counseling for us but he says we don't need it. I mentioned counseling for him to figure out why he has these feelings and he doesn't think that will help. What do I do? Our marriage is in serious trouble and I'm the only one that seems to care. Can I make him love me again?

I think you need to give your H some space. If he still loves you, he will come around. <P>If he truly does not love you anymore then he is not yours. Although I don't think it's very likely that he doesn't love you anymore. It sounds like he is taking you for granted and maybe has some frustrations with your relationship. <P>He has told you what annoys him. That's fine, but you need to know what he needs from you. Are you meeting all his needs, but he gets annoyed because you leave your laundry on the floor? If this is the case, he needs to realize that living with ANY person is difficult. <P>I recently had an argument with my H because I told him he forgot to wipe up the water on the bathroom floor and left the bed a mess. He got really upset and said we should get a place with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms so he doesn't bother me so much. I told him that he doesn't bother me. I love him and I don't want to live seperately. I asked him if it bothers him when I leave an empty drink container in the car. He said yes. I asked him if he never wanted me to ride in the car again and he said no. I asked if he still loved me and he said yes. <P>Marriage is about comprimise. It is difficult. There is no such thing as a "perfect" person that you will have no conflict with. There will always be some conflict. But you need to work it out together. <P>I think it sounds like your H needs some space. Don't ask him over and over if everything is ok. Trust him. Trust yourself. If he is willing to give up on you without a fight then he's not worth it. But if he is just extremly frustrated, talk to him about what he needs from you (not just what you do that's annoying). Let him know what you need from him. Work on meeting those needs for each other. <P>Hope this helps.<P>Take good care. <P>Myra

dsts You say you have only been married for 1 year not much time what you didn't say is what the age difference between you and your H is and if this was a quickie marrage or a long courtship try asking H what it is he exactly wants--see what the answer is without interrupting let him finish then add what you feel you need to say --no screaming stay calm if in only 1 yr he is ready to call it quits maybe it wasn't right to start with --sorry I hope things work out the way you want happy for you