We have been married for over 21 years and I am worried about my husband. His spending habits are out of control. He recently received a Gold Master Card and ran it up to it full $5,000 in just four weeks. I do not believe in using these cards and do NOT even own one or am a joint card holder. I was shocked to see how much he had put on the card and told him that I was upset about it. He informed me that it was not a problem and that he could handle the bills. Well yesterday my husband received a coupon booklet for a consumer loan that he had taken out last week for another $5,000. I was stunned and called him at work to ask why he had applied for this loan. He replied that he needed to money to pay off our regular bills this month and that everything was okay now and he would pay off the loan quickly. <P>After I hung up the phone I did some quick math and to my amazement I discovered that it will be really hard for my husband to come up with all our monthly bills with these extra credit responsibilities added on. <P>This has been going on for over six months and I don't know what to do. He took out a loan against his 401K ($7,000) last January without my blessing, even though I signed the papers. I feel like I have no control or say on our financial matters and it makes me worry and cry all the time. I am so upset that I just can't think straight, and my children are suffering with all the shouting at each other. I am originally from England and I have no family here in the US. I do not think I can make my husband realize that he is headed for financial desaster. Do you think I should go home and get out of this mess. He won't listen to me at all! Please help!

What is he buying with all of this money? Is he gambling? I don't blame you for being frightened, especially with no family around. There are very reputable credit counselors around to help you consolidate your bills and get a handle on them. Some can even get the creditors to eliminate the interest charges while you are participating with the program. But that only helps the spending part of it. He would basically have to hand over his paycheck to the credit counselling center. I don't know if he is capable of doing that. However, that does not address the real issue as to what he is spending his money on that he cannot stop. You need to find out what this is and to find out is he really willing to stop. Right now, he is just trying to blow you off and not discuss it with you. You must be strong and insist that he does. Good luck to you. I wish you well.