This has been a recurrent problem throughout the course of our 4-year relationship. My SO is a custodial parent with a guilt complex re: his children/divorce, so I wasn't too surprised when it became clear he would always put his children before me. In fact, many advised me that this was a sign of a great guy. However, in subsequent years (and increasingly), I see him putting not only his children, but his job, boss, coworkers, and extended family before me. He's an easy-going, nice guy who hates to say no to anyone and often bends over backwards to accomodate and please these people, yet he seems to have no trouble saying no to me. He's often "too busy" pleasing everyone else to nurture our relationship (I try not to be demanding, but he often ends up neglecting my needs to fulfill other people's wishes). The few times I've managed to break up w/ him for this reason, he's begged me to come back, promising to change, but we're soon back in the old pattern. Despite this behavior, I believe, deep down, that he really cares; however, his forever putting me on the back burner makes me wonder just how much. I usually end up angry, whining and nagging, which only alienates him. Since I can only change myself, how can I best handle this problem? Any input most appreciated!! <BR>

quandry ....<P>You can't change him. He has to want to change. Next time you leave and there will be a next time, don't go back on promises. Go back for the proof. But if he does begin to prove himself to you, reward him greatly. Show him that investing time into the relationship will lead to greater happiness for him. But be prepared, if he doesn't give you the proof.<BR>Good Luck<BR>