My SO, until recently, worked w/ a small circle of men; due to recent expansion under new management, a number of women (all, coincidentally, young and attractive) were hired. Due to the nature of their work, they frequently travel together. As it happens, my SO (the only unmarried man in the group) and the youngest and most attractive of the "new girls" have been paired up to be on the road alone together, staying in hotels, for an entire week. I tend to be insecure and jealous anyway (both by nature and because he has, on occasion, proven to be less than trustworthy), and he was very well aware of my apprehension about this upcoming trip (although I tried to contain it since it IS his job). However, with this trip looming just ahead and knowing how I feel about it, he voluntarily went out to a restaurant to have lunch with this girl, ostensibly to "discuss it." He didn't tell me about it; I got a "sixth sense" and guessed. (Incidentally, I can't recall the last time he asked ME out for lunch.) He claims it was her idea and saw no reason to refuse. I think the fact that he's her supervisor is reason enough and that he needs to draw a line here, but more importantly, he should have refused out of respect for my feelings. Anyway, I don't know if I'm really afraid something will happen on this trip (he literally laughs as my fears, calling them "ludicrous") or am just hurt and shocked that, knowing how I feel, he'd do something he knew perfectly well would hurt me. Any feedback? <BR>

Quandry<P>Would like to know more about your relationship.<BR>How long have you lived together?<BR>What has your SO done that makes you say he is not trustworty?<BR>How strong is your relationship?<BR>Why have you decided not to marry?<BR>Have you had previous problems with SO paying attention to younger women?<BR>How old is your SO?<BR>Sometimes your intuition is trying to tell you something is not right. It told you that your SO had done something that you felt was not right< going to lunch with this other women.<P>Please give more information so others can help.

Thanks; will try to fill in the blanks. We've been together for five years; the "incident" didn't involve actual infidelity, but rather deception, and I've never quite recovered. We've not married because of complications (his kids from previous marriage); I would like to now, he would like to wait. I am by nature somewhat insecure and jealous, but I have had a "bad feeling" about this entire work situation from the beginning. I simply feel he should be trying to reassure me rather than ridiculing my fears and, if the trip's unavoidable, at least avoiding any UNNECESSARY contact in deference to my feelings, however "irrational" they may be.