My husband has a child that is five years old by his ex girlfriend, we've been married for 13 months and rent a home where she lives in a home owned by his parents doesn't pay any rent, and holds the child over their heads if she can't get her way. She constantly calls here to chat with him about nothing and knows all our business, that's none of her business, how do we conveince her to leave us alone and mind her own business? She fails to give us a court ordered visitations if she's pouting about something this lady is 43 years old and needs to grow up. She knows when we have a disagreement and sometimes even knows when we have sex, this is totally rediclious. Is there any hope?

Janet:<P>Where does the ex girlfriend get all of this personal information about you and your husband? I’m a little fuzzy about the living arrangements.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Scott

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Promised Forever:<BR><B>Janet:<P>Where does the ex girlfriend get all of this personal information about you and your husband? I’m a little fuzzy about the living arrangements.<BR>Scott,<BR>I'm not sure if his family is giving her all the info. or not but that's the only place that she could be getting it. As far as the living arraingments we do not rent from his parents or anything, it's just irritating that she lives off of them (his parents) the way that she does.<P><BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Did you know about this child before you married? If you did you knew that your H was going to have a connection with his ex for the rest of his life. You can't get rid of the ex with out getting rid of his child. Not an option IMHO. <P>If the ex is getting info from his family, THEY must be getting it from somewhere. The chief suspect here is your H. If his family can't keep personal information to them selves your H needs to stop telling them this stuff. Talk to him about it.<P>If the ex is not living up to court mandated visitation get a lawyer. That child needs the influence and affection of her father. <P>The reality is that your H decided to make a baby with this person. You decided to marry him anyway. Another reality is that you can't make your H ex grow up. All you can do is be grown up yourself. That means being kind in the face of unkindness, being responsible in the face of irresponsibility and being calm in the face of chaos. <P>

If you and your husband agree to keep your personal business just between you both and follow through then your personal business problem is solved. I would guess that your in-laws allow this woman to sponge off of them because they feel that this would keep the door open for them to have a relationship with their grandchild. If this works for them I wouldn’t worry about it. Marital relationships are base on meeting your partners needs and in turn having yours met. They are not really doing anything different here. If it bothers you for him to talk to this woman about anything other than the well being of their child then let him know. I don’t think that this would be an unreasonable request. <P>------------------<BR>Scott<P>[This message has been edited by Promised Forever (edited January 26, 2000).]<P>[This message has been edited by Promised Forever (edited January 28, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Promised Forever (edited January 28, 2000).]