I can't offer much advice on how to deal with it, but I can provide some information on borderline personality disorder. <P>It is defined as a pervasive pattern of instability of self-image and habits, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by at least five of the following: <P>frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment;<P>a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation; <P>identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self; <P>impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating); <P>recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior; <P>affective instability due to a marked <BR>reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic feelings of dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days); <P>chronic feelings of emptiness; <BR>inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays<BR>of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights); <P>transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. <P>I understand your concern for your wife, however, unless she meets 5 of the criteria outlined above, she's not clinically considered "disordered" and her behavior toward you may be a reflection of your behavior toward her - I don't mean to insult you but generally problems in a marriage go both ways. Don't be too quick to dismiss marriage difficulties as bona fide psychiatric disorders. Hope this info helps.<p>[This message has been edited by younglove (edited February 15, 2000).]
