I'm struggling right now with moving on with my life. When I said my marriage vows, I meant forever. Am I throwing in the towel too soon? Is my H entitled to more love, respect, patience than I can give? Saving my marriage isn't really up to me, since he doesn't want to. I just want to stop beating my head against the wall. I feel like a MB failure. <P>If God has a plan for my life, how do I know that I'm living up to what He expects of me?

Animac -<P>i'm trying to figure out the same things, so I can't be of much help.<P>I think that at long as I give it my all, whatever that may be, I must be living up to God's plan. Heck, bringing out the strength and the best in myself probably is God's plan!!!<P>I know that you are up against a wall as far as what else to do for the marriage - I am also!!! We can only show them that we love them and want to work it through with them and grow through the experience to a better marriage. <P>They have to lead the way - the chose the path and we're, unfortunately, along for the ride!! <P>That's why I've been in my hell for so long - it was up to H to either D or work on us. It wasn't up to me to decide on ending something that I didn't believe should end. Keeps me believing that I have done my best.<P>Hope this helps,<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

YOU ARE NO FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>You have been patient. You have been understanding. You have done far more than most would. I am sure you have done more than I could have.<P>My personal belief is when one has been betrayed, they are free to go. Any effort to rebuild should be applauded.<P>Of course the children should be considered. You show every sign of being a loving and committed mother.<P>Despite your best efforts, you H failed you. He failed you. He failed himself. He failed his children. <P>You must do what is best for your family unit, which is now you and your children.<P>Moving ahead seems your only option. Trying to be close to family seems logical. You are not rejecting your H. If he came back tomorrow, you would reevaluate, right?<P>Ultimately we can not control what another does or feels.<P>Even when we have been treated unfairly, we are still accountable for our own life and the lives of those who depend on us. You need to live the life that is before you.<P>You are a success. I admire all you have done.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13