This morning my wife asked me about what progress I was making on finding somewhere else to live. She reiterated that she no longer loved me, and wanted to make a new beginning with herself and our three youngest children. She insists that theres noone else, and after two months of observing her I'm inclined to believe her.<BR>I have been making large deposits into her love bank for a couple of months,and I don't think it's bringing us closer,as demonstrated by this morning's conversation.<P>My belief is that no man should voluntarily leave his home to accomodate his wife's wishes.The children do not want me to leave,and neither do I. Friends and family tell me to forget about her, but I<BR> know that that is not the loving thing to do.<P>I also know that thousands of women have been in the same place emotionally as her, only to discover later that they really did love their husbands, and are in flourishing relationships now.<P>How long can I keep this up? I don't act needy and desperate, I give her her space.We are generally very agreeable and talk and laugh from time to time. I know she still has feelings for me, although she says it's over and we will never be together.<P>My question is, what do I do next?I'm reaching the point where leaving and starting over is becoming an attractive alternative to going through this. I truly love her, and she truly loved me at one time.Where do I go from here?

Randy:<P>The title of your thread caught my eye<BR>FROM WITHDRAWAL TO CONFLICT.<P>Something I think that is based on Harley's MB philosophy that I learned from my son is the 3 levels of a relationship (namely husband/wife).<P>1 - Intimacy<BR>2 - Conflict<BR>3 - Withdrawal<P>If you go from step 1 to step 2 and you can't resolve the conflict...then chances are one or both parties will go into withdrawal.<P>The point is....you can not go from withdrawal back to intimacy without FIRST, going back through CONFLICT and resolving what caused the conflict/withdrawal.<P>In a case of a man/wife who are separated (I was separated over 4 years); if they are ever going to restore, they will have to work back from withdrawal to conflict and resolve these issues.<P>However, it is my belief that in this case, sometimes there is another step before they can return to intimacy...and that is friendship.<P>I believe friendship is the gateway to intimacy.<P>Don't know if I have helped at all...but thought I'd share this.<P>[censored] from Texas<BR>