My husband and I are having a conflict on what it means in Genesis 2:24 about "one flesh" Does anyone have any ideas what this means (really)?

Maybe you could give us a hint as to what you and your H think this means and how or why this is a significant conflict in your marriage. I guess before I comment I would like to know more of what is goinf on here.<P>Thanks

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mudder:<BR><B>Maybe you could give us a hint as to what you and your H think this means and how or why this is a significant conflict in your marriage. I guess before I comment I would like to know more of what is goinf on here.<P>Thanks</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, we are going to a counselor at our church for our marriage. I feel that even though we are married, we are each individuals and we each have different feelings and thoughts on our life. Such as our children and the way money is spent and authority. I feel like I am always being pressured or manipulated into thinking and doing things the way my husband wants them done. He says he does not do that, but when the final decision is made on something it is ALWAYS his way. My input is irrelevent. <BR>My counselor feels that each of us has this part of the verse a little confused. This is both of our second marriages and we are determined to make this work.

marchon:<P>Instead of trying to interpret Genesis, why don't you and your husband go over Harley's "Policy of Joint Agreement" and agree to try it for a couple of months (under the guidance of your counselor).<P>The POJA states: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse.<P>This rule takes some skills (that you'll need to learn) to implement. You need to learn to be completely honest with each other WITHOUT using lovebusters (in either giving or receiving honesty). Then you need to both learn negotiation skills to work through your problems. You negotiate with each other until you reach a "win-win" solution that you both are enthusiastic over. There should be no "sacrifice" by one party---sacrifice will build resentment, which tears down love (there are exceptions---but both spouses should agree to the sacrifice).<P>You are both individuals with different thoughts and feelings. You need to learn to share these with each other without hesitation (Rule of Complete Honesty). You need to protect each other from thoughtless and damaging behavior, or lovebusters (Rule of Protection). You need to learn to meet each other's needs in a way that builds love (Rule of Care). And finally, to do this all, you need to spend enough quality time together as husband and wife to successfully execute this (Rule of Time). These four rules comprise Harley's "Four Rules for a Successful Marriage".

It is always best when trying to figure out what scripture means to bounce our perception off of other areas in the Bible. You and your H might want to read I Peter 3.<P>This chapter deals with the nuts and bolts of the marriage relationship that Gen. 2:24 speaks of metaphorically.<P>The instructions to wives are:<BR>1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, <BR>2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. <P>We men love to quote this passage but it doesn't end in verse two. The chapter later instructs men in verse 7: <BR>Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. <P>The chapter goes on to speak to any kind of relationship in verses 8 and 9:<BR>v8. all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. <BR>v9. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. <P>So wives are to submit to the authority of their husbands and husbands are to treat their wives with respect, humility, compassion, and consideration. <P>The result of making I Peter 3 a reality in your marriage will be the metaphoric "one flesh" of Gen. 2:24<P>Here is my advice to both of you:<P>wife: Try to figure out why you are resistent of your husbands leadership. What is it specifically that he does that undermines your desire to submit.<P>husband: Don't be defensive of your position. Slow down and listen especially when your wife articulates what it is that undermines her ability to submit to your authority. Trust me when I tell you that you are being condescending and dismissive of your wifes view point even if you think you're not. I can say this cuz I'm a husband who has played it both ways. Every once in a while choose her way you might be surprised that she was right. <P>To both of you: Read about the Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA) on this web site. It is a how to manual for being all God intended you to be as a couple (one flesh).<BR>

You have GOT!!!! To be kidding me right Mudder?!?!?!<P>The extent of your malaise is furth than I thought...<P>Do you have the *AUDACITY* and *ARROGANCE* to believe that women are the "weaker partner"????<P>Are you that *CHAUVANISTIC* to think that ANY HUMAN BEING SHOULD SUBMIT TO ANOTHER???<P>My God Man, sexism is ripe and rife with you isn't it. What you are talking about is called gender snobbery... that you would even contemplate the reality of these words shows how completely ignorant and how totally narrow minded you actually are.<P><BR>While *I* may be arrogant in thinking I know all the answers... at least I know that women are are complete equals and should not be respected as a "weaker partner" but as a full and equal partner.<P>What does your wife think about your condescending feeling towards her inferiority? Oh thats right.... she doesn't "think" does she, she just submits and obeys... No WONDER the marriage is so good... such dictatorships usually are.<P>You disgust me!