the most important thing to do when you are in a marriage is to accept each other and not try changing the next person. because you might be the one who needs change first. i used argue with my husband a lot and i got tired of it and i realised that i cannot change him. but i can change the way i appraoch him, the way i talk to him and the way i treat him. you know forgiving is more like setting the prisoner free only to realise that the prisoner was you, when you argue all the time then it means there are other issues from the past that were not resolved so everytime you argue this issues resurface .i am not claiming to know it all coz we still fight but when i get too angry i go to the bedroom and pray God to give me a quiet spirit, and pray God to grant me the serenity to accept the things that i cannot change and to wait patiently for HIm to act. as women we need to pray and intercede for our husband, we need to have good families where there is harmony and peace but we cannot do this all by ourselves, we need to let go and Let God take control

Hi, I like what you said and know I too need to change my behavior. I used to love to fight with my X H. I have a smart mouth and I'm quick with a come back for anything, almost.<BR> Now I'm married again, years later and years wiser, I think. <BR>My present husband has to have his way, no matter what. I hate to fight with him and try to just talk about why I don't think "whatever" is a good idea. He gets angry and yells at me , insults me terribly, and usually has me in tears before I realise I'm getting nowhere in haveing him hear me. <BR> My problem with just refusing to argue is this makes him even louder and if I keep quiet still he gets physical.<BR>He's never actually hit me but he will squeeze my face in his hand while yelling at me, ( twice he's done this)<BR>One time I was sitting on the toilet, refused to argue and he picked me up by my soulders, sat me back down and then just jabbed me in the chest with one finger yelling insults until I fought back with him, verbaly.<BR> Usually though I am sitting on the bed when he gets that mad at me, for not fighting, and he pushes me back,or actualy throws me on my back, straddles me and yells, jabs, and last time he grabed my hand and made me hit myself with it. These things he does don't hurt me physicaly, I mean don't cause me pain, but and aside from the emotional hell, it's dangerouse not to argue with him.<P> Well I just heard a still small voice tell me not to disagree with him, just let him do what he wants and see where that takes him.<BR>Give a man enough rope and he'll hang himself. <P>------------------<BR>