I would like some suggestions on how I can get my wife to cooperate on money matters.<P>We are married over 30 years and she has never paid a bill in her life. I pay all the bills and give her a car of her own. I have never asked her to go to work. I am trying to save and invest so we will be able to make it when we retire. <P>I always try to economize, but she won't put forth any effort. If I even mention trying to save money on something, I get verbal abuse on how cheap I am and it turns into a fight. She has no idea of how hard it is to make a dollar. Everytime I save a dime she spends it plus a dollar more.<P>When we go out to eat, she always gets the most expensive thing on the menu. She has gotten on a vitamin craze and is spending around $400 a month on supplements. <P>I don't have a big income working in Condo maintenance, so I feel like I have spent my life struggling to pay her bills and gotten very little thanks for it.<P>Any ideas on how I can get some cooperation?<P>Thanks.<P>

I have a similiar situation, with a twist. My H works while I stay at home, but I am the one who pays all the bills. I, like you, feel we need to save for our future. My H likes to spend money, whether we have it or not. Any time we discuss what we should do about money matters, he gets very angry because he feels that he earns it,but I'm the one controlling it.<P>I think it would probably help if you sat down with your W and wrote everything out: how much money there is; where it NEEDS to go; where you both would LIKE it to go, etc.<P>Maybe if your W had a better idea of where the money is actually being spent, she wouldn't think you were so cheap, after all.<P>You could also try showing her figures on how much you will actually need to live on after retirement... maybe once she sees just how much it really takes, she'll be more agreeable to saving.<P>Good Luck!

Thansk gabes-mom. I have tried that, in fact I keep track of everything we spend and show it to her at the end of the month. She know exactly what my earnings are and for the past year we have been spending about $200 a month more than I make, thus eating into savings rather than putting aside for the future.<P>I have explained to her what we will need for retirement and our options to provide that. Her thought is that we will probably be dead by then so we should enjoy it now.<P>She is a great person, but when it comes to money she is not realistic.

I know where your coming from. I too have a similar situation. I pay all the bills and handle all the money and I am not the greatest at saving. My H is much worse, he just goes and spends money without even asking me what kind of bills we have. When I tell him we are broke, he gets all mad and says what have YOU been spending it all on. It infuriates me, he just doesn't realize how stressful it is to try and budget around him. I have asked him several times to budget with me and he is totally against it. I have now decided to set up a seperate bank acct and put spending money in there just for him hopefully this will work. To top it off he has decided to put us in debt by going away with a friend to Mexico, his friend is lending him the money. I have told him that it is not being responsible to be spending money that you don't have! He just doesn't get it!!! He says he's going to work extra hours in the summer to pay it off, but I am fed up with it, its not fair!<BR>I totally feel for ya!<BR>