My wife and I have been married for 6 months now and were together<BR>for 3 1/2 years before that. Her mother passed away before I met her and her<BR>father passed away while I was dating her. She is 22 now. We had intimacy<BR>problems after her father passed away and I have always been low in self<BR>esteem. I haven't been truthful about myself because of it. (No infidelity)<BR>I am now overcoming this problem and look to be close to her, but she now<BR>says that she is not "in love" with me anymore. She feels uncomfortable when<BR>I touch her now. She wants to be "friends" now, but she misses me dearly<BR>when I am gone. I am codependent and am working to resolve this issue also.<BR>She has gone as far as wanting to go to Europe for the summer for a couple<BR>of weeks to visit some our close friends. Any advice on what to spark up our<BR>intimacy and resolve these issues would be helpful. She has went into a state of withdrawal and I don't know what to do to help her out of it. I don't believe that she is going to Europe because I said that I thought we should experience that together.<P>

Have you read the Basic Concepts stuff on the homepage? If not, I'd suggest you start there....print out the Emotional needs questionnaires and each of you fill one out. Discuss the results (no accusations or lovebusters!). Then, within a week or so, give each other a list of 3-5 very specifc things the could do to help meet your most important needs.<BR>It sounds overly simple and step-by-step, but it works...<BR>Kathi