This weekend my wife told me she doesn't love me anymore. We have two children 13 and 9 and have been together 15+ years. <BR>About a year and a half ago we had a similar situation and I was asked to go stay elsewhere - which I did. After a couple of weeks we got back together and I had thought it was the best our relationship has ever been. We used a lot of the information from the Marriage Builders site to help us. The problem then was that she felt controlled by me, rightfully so, since I was always the breadwinner and she was always home with the kids. I realized the error of my ways and tried to change them.<P>Recently she got a job outside the home and has also been spending a lot of time in chat rooms on the computer - she has developed many good friendships through the chat area. I have had great difficulty dealing with it since she spends hours there and I frankly get a little jealous, although there is absolutely nothing sexual going on there, it had made me feel neglected.<P>Over the last couple of weeks things have been going sour, I have tried my best to let her do what she wants so those feelings that I am controlling her wouldn't come back up. <P>She now tells me she just doesn't want to be married anymore, she is tired and that's it, she feels nothing for me.<P>Here's the main part of my problem - she wants me to stay in the house with her, be friends - nothing more, and keep up a front for the children. I still love her very much and don't want to give up - but she has no interest in repairing the relationship. It seems hopeless.<P>SK<P>

I am so sorry for your situation. <BR>I think that staying for the kids to put up a front is a very bad thing to do. Kids are smart and they can see through that. You don't want them to think that marriage should be like that, especially if ends up being a loveless marriage. I don't have any advice on how to get her to try to work things out - wish I did, I hope everything works out foryou.

Hi Stuklu,<BR>What a terrible time to be going through. I agree with the first reply. Staying together for the kids is really wrong. They'll figure it out in a heatbeat. Plus, imagine what kinds of stress and potential arguments will develop. That's not something you want the kids to see. Better to have 2 loving parents in 2 places. <BR> My red flags went up all over the place when you said that since you were the breadwinner, you made all the decisions,"and rightly so." Money is important, but who is raising your kids? Is that job any less important to the family? I read somewhere that the amount of rage a person has is directly proportional to the amount of domination they have. You need to find a way to rethink your position. Your wife is your co-captain in the family "team." If she has found an outlet in the computer, hooray. Remember the quote about the butterfly? If you truly love someone, like the butterfly, let her go. If she comes back to you, it was meant to be. You can't force her to stay at this point, but if you open up your hands to release her, she may feel more like coming back.