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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 1 |
Well, my husband feels when we fight that he needs to call me names and cuss like crazy. Every other word that comes outta his mouth is bad. Then we begin fighting over him doing that rather than what the fight was about to begin with. I never do this to him, and I hate it with a passion when he does it. I have told him time and time again to please stop. We have seperated for a few days over this. I just dont know what to do. We will be going to marriage counseling soon locally. I just wanted to know if anyone else reading has had this prob. or if anyone has some advice! Thankx in advance ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>~Erika Silvermoon
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 139
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 139 |
Erika,<P>Could it be that your H feels inferior to you when it comes to arguing, so that he feels that he has to resort to name calling etc. Another reason could be that he has discovered that if he uses this "tactic" he can divert the topic from something that he is not comfortable discussing.<P>I'm not condoning this way of arguing or fighting, and if the two of you cannot work out a way of exchanging views in a non-hostile environment, where each of you feels safe and certain that your arguments are being listened to, I would suggest counselling for this as well as reading Dr. Harley's articles on negotiating in marriage, as well as the 4 Rules of a Successful Marriage.<BR>
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 275
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Member
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 275 |
calmly, say to him that you will not discuss the issue at hand and when he can discuss things like a mature adult without yelling you'll be ready to face the issue again. Then go to a different room. Take yourself out from underneath the dumptruck. My H has been known to degrade,putdown,cuss...since Ive not put myself in the situation its gotten better.<BR>Stand your ground...but do it in a calm fashion and you will see results.<BR>ruby,
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