My H and I have gone through alot of stuff. Not to long ago I thought we had made a great breakthrough and made our way back to eachother. He was so attentive,affectionate and showed me how much he loved me. I was so happy and it felt like it did when we first met, I was so in love with him. Now it seems like its going back to the same old problems. The affection is gone. I have realized that I really need affection to be happy and need for him to talk to me about us. <BR>Tonight we got into a fight. He has a problem with his temper and he flew off the handle, yelled at me alot, swore at me alot right in front of the kids. I tried to tell him to stop yelling, this just made him angrier. He said "if you would just shut up!, I told him to go away and come back when he settles down,and he got even angrier, I picked up my youngest and locked ourselves in the bathroom. I then asked to talk to him rationally. It worked for a little while, but he just never wants to discuss anything, he just gets very rude and tells me to drop it. I took responsibility for my part in the fight and told him that I will try to work on things,I suggested that maybe we could both think of some positive ways to improve ourselves and our relationship, all he could say is things to put me down, like "I really think you just need to look at yourself,and FU*** learn to shut your mouth .....etc. I am so tired of trying and I am getting to the point where I am starting to wonder if I really do love him. It is so hard to be close to him as I feel he doesn't respect me and he talks rude to me and immitates me. Then when I try to talk things out to make things better he just ignores me and goes to sleep or yells at me.Keeps saying quit fu*** dwelling on everything. I find it really hard when he talks to me so rude. He thinks that we don't have to deal with our problems and that we should just drop it and it will go away. I am so tired of this and I just want to find someone who wants to spend time with me and shows me respect. It is so hard when you have kids involved, I think sometimes maybe I am staying so long b/c of them. I truly don't think we would be together if it wasn't for them, and that bothers me. I don't know if anybody can help but I just needed to get this out, especially since my H won't talk to me. If I go to bed and things aren't worked out (which is usually the way it is) I stay up allnight and think about it all the next day.
