Married 3 years now. He is very verbal abusive when he gets angry. His anger explodes when he does not get his way. He has to be in control. He had a bad childhood. It is a cycle...about once a month it happens. Last time he slept on the couch for four nights. Next day changed as though nothing had happened. My heart was crushed and has been over and over. He has destroyed my feelings for him. How can I find the love I had for him? Thanks!

blbl,<BR>I know how exhausting verbally abusive people can be, especially when you are so close and dependent on them. My f and m both have problems with rageful outbursts, fits of anger,etc. My f was the one out of control usually. We always had to pretend that everything was perfect and no fists had touched our faces, no words had touched our spirit, and no looks had touched our hearts. It's so painful and I lift you up to God. I pray that he will surround you with his spirit so that you may find peace. <P>I've read several books about anger and its effects. They sorta of walk hand and hand with emotional abuse. Gary Chapman...the other side of love---Susan Forward...Emotional Blackmail. God Bless You!

I am so sorry for your situation, as you know from your reply to my post, my H has been verbablly abusive as well. It is so frustrating and so heart wrenching. It has greatly improved though, especially since I have been posting here and getting good advice. As well I think i am (slowly) getting it across to him that I won'tbe a part of his rages, I walk away now, if I have to I leave the whole situation. I used to get involved and yell back which made him angrier, or try to even just talk to him, I have realized that I just have to leave and let him cool down. It is an ongoing battle, but it is starting to get better. I think as well when he realized that he almost lost me for good, it made him realize that he has to change. He still has his outbursts, but it is starting to decrease and is starting to get better. I think one of the most important things is to make sure that you be happy for you and don't let him drag you into his anger and rage. I hope that things start to improve for you, keep posting here, it really does help.<BR>