My husband and I have been married for 5 months. He has children from a previous marriage. I do not. I am not excited about his children but I though I was willing to scarifice for the man I care for so dearly. <BR>There are several issues in this marriage, but the one that is the biggest one to the both of us is that I am not sure how I am supposed to support him when I am not at all happy in this situation. I had no idea this would be so difficult. <BR>I feel like his children are taking form me. He pays $500 in child support. He makes about $1100/month. So he is left with enough money to pay our rent in our apt. He does not have a car. He says that he is trying very hard to make me happy, but I say that TRYING is not good enough. He tries by working overtime, which barely helps. i work and I pay most of our bills, along with my family. Not to mention when his children are around they have all of his attention. I love my husabnd dearly, but when I tell him how I feel (which I did mention to him before we married) he is offended and becomes angry. <BR>I want suggestions on how I can support im without feeling like I am doing everything like I feel now. <BR>For example, I took off work to take his son out for his birthday. That mroning his neice called and said she needed a ride home, she had a baby. When I got there to pick her up,my husband's sister wanted me to take her to the store to buy things for the baby. This basically took the whole day. SO I never got an opportunity to take the child out. <BR>When I picked my husabnd up form work, he discovered that his daughter had bugs in her hair. They were lice. We took her to the dr. to confirm this. So he had to start the treatment which was about 6 hours long. I was tired and I did not feel like helping him with this. I told jim to take her to her mother. Her mother would not take her. So he had to do it. I changed the sheets and went to bed. He griped all night long because I refused to help him. But I feel like those children are HIS responsibility, not mine. I am willing to make a compromise with him, but he does not have anything that he can sacrifice for me, that I want. <BR>I feel like I am in a GIVE GIVE realtionship. I get little in return. I take him and his children to school and help give baths, and clean up, and cook for them when they are with him. I do not have children and I resent having to be burdened with this responsibility only if it is for a short while. (He has them for a month.) I married him becuase I love him. Not because I wanted to help him raise HIS children. I want to know how we can make a compromise to reslove this ongoing conflict.

When you marry someone with children, you are committing to help raise the children, whether you realized it or not. You can't really say to your spouse, "I love you and commit fully to support you and your needs, to be your partner and helpmeet for life, except when it comes to your children."<P>Sorry...<P>I know there is a lot of stress involved with kids. I know you probably did not realize all you were getting in for. Think hard about this relationship and what it means to you...you need to decide if you can accept that the kids are an integral part of his life, even if only for a month.<P>However, you and your H should discuss what BOTH of you need and want out of the marriage. Yes, marrying someone with kids involves a lot of giving, but it should not be one-sided. You need to feel that your needs are being met also, and that you and the marriage are important to him. <P>Question...if he only has the kids 1 month, how are the other months?<P>Take care--<P>Kathi<P>