My s.o. just broke up w/ me last night. He said there were just too many things between us that were causing problems. He said he still loves me and will never stop, but he doesn't think that we will be happy together. He said that when he is with me, he feels like I'm not "all there". He is very very jealous. I never knew just HOW jealous until last night. At first he told me he couldn't really put his finger on what the problem was - but that there was something really "wrong" between us. We have been together for about 5 mos now. We are both in our early 30's. I know that we are both headstrong and stubborn, but we always managed to see one another's point of view even if we didn't agree. <P>I wrote him a short letter a few hours after we spoke, and he wrote me right back saying that he still loves me and wishes more than anything that things were different, but that we are just not good together. He has never been married, nor have I. We are both extremely selective in who we date. We are both very sensitive and have very high expectations. <P>He told me late last night that he couldn't stand feeling like he wasn't the only man in my life. Don't take this the wrong way, pls , but when I go out, people stare. It makes him very uncomfortable; he says things like, "don't go holding your beauty over my head". He gets really, really upset about it. He found about 8 dozen dried roses hanging in my heater closet the other day - I think that's what sent him over the edge, b/c none of them were from him. He has only ever given me mixed flowers, which I have drying in a bowl. But he was so mad about that - he started asking me if I had slept with all of these men. I said, "of course not!". He was really, really upset. This is what set him over the edge. He has a real insecurity with my beauty. I would hope that he would be happy about it, or not care, but not be ANGRY about it and think I am holding it over his head. He tells me things like, when we talk about other men, I smirk and act like if he were to walk away, I would have another man in a flash. That's not at ALL how I feel. I want only him. <P>I haven't done my job at reassuring him, but that was only because I didn't know until now how much he needs to be reassured.<P>I need him to at least KNOW that he is the only man in the world for me...does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can let him know that? Should I send him all of my old love letters? Tell him I burned all the flowers? What do I have to do?<P>I am not used to dealing with someone with this much jealousy.<P>His ex-gf who he lived with cheated on him for 5 months and he knew nothing about it. I think that maybe this is why he is so jealous. I don't know.<P>Someone, please tell me if this thing is really over, or if I should try to fight for him.<P>I need help!<P>

IMHO, someone with the degree of jealousy and insecurity he is exhibiting is not a great long-term prospect. <P>However, you are the only one who can tell how YOU feel about him...if you love him deeply, and feel he is worth a lot of work, I;d suggest the two of you start with couples counseling (I'm betting he doesn't see this as his problem, and wouldn't go alone). Don't think about marriage unless this is resolved...<P>Good luck.<P>Kathi

The fact that you may love him does not mean that you should marry him or even work towards that goal. There are women who are battered to almost death. And when these women are asked, "How come you never left him" The answer is always, "Because I loved him and cared for him and I thought he would change". (Some answer that they were scared that he would find her and do harm when found).<P>Your beauty is not a disconcerting matter to many men. You can find many men who will not get jealous over finding past artifacts and souveniers.<P>To men who live in reality, they know that their women have had previous lives and dated before them.<P>You should be strong and make the decision and end it with him completely. In my humble opinion <BR>