My husband and I come from very different backgrounds. I come from a "normal" class background in the UK, I did everything a young person could possibly do in my youth. Mu husband's parents are rich and he led a very sheltered life, private schools, slept with his mother till being 15 years old etc.<P>When I first met my h he had a best friend who was gay and seemed jealous of me telling me how he went shopping with my h and pretending he was his daddy in the shopping center messing about. My h did fall out with this man and seemed very upset about it. And my h parents mentioned to my parents that they was worried my h was sleeping at this gay friends house a lot. Mu husband says he was not sleeping there but in fact high on drugs all weekend in various places around the city (I know for a fact he took drugs regularly).<P>I have been with him three years now and have a son to him, lately, in his new job he has discovered that someone who he works with is bisexual when looking at the persons e-mail to find out about a job which needed completing while the person was away.<P>One night I cam across some newsgroups relating to gay, my husband says they were in the new newsgroups section in outlook express but when he did come across them he told me to not syncronise it, I don't know much about computers, my h does which makes me afraid he is hiding something from me. <P>I have had my doubts about him being a bit on the gay side ever since we got together and what made it worse recently was when he had a pool (shared) car from work I found some mints and a travel card that goes on your suitcase when travelling with the name of a gay at work on.<P>This has caused me to nearly have a nervous breakdown with worry as I have been treated badly before in past relaitionships.<P>He says this is just because it is a shared car and we did nothing but row about it.<P>He has just confessed to me that when he was 16 years old (he is 22 next month) he played around with his best friend 7 or 8 times and pretended it was a woman but I don't see how he could have felt comfortable with a man one little bit if he is fully straight. He says he is disgusted with himself and was just a coward at the time and didn't know how to get a woman at that age (which I know to be true). <P>He also confessed to me that he has been looking at porn sites on the web during our marriage, at the time I was pregnant and we were having sex regularly. Men have told me they couldn't understand it with a wife like me with my looks. He says it is because he couldn't let himself properly get close to me because he had that secret and didn't feel close to me.<P>What I am so afraid of is that he is bisexual and could be sleeping with anyone and pass me any diseases. I know I could have better and that is what scares me but I do love my husband and I am at my wits end for what to do.<P>I have one child to him and he is about to adopt my first which I am not sure about now. I know he has lied to me a lot in the past and I don't see how he can ever gain my trust back.<P>Also he used to say men were perverts who looked at porn sites and made out he would never be interested and it did nothing for him when all along he was doing it and let me believe his lies.<P>Please give me some advice on what I should do, I am only 23 and don't want to waste my life. My husband is doing everything he can to help me through this, taking me away, leaving his job to work from home etc.<P>One thing that made me worry is that a male friend of mine bought his girlfriend a big teddy and was going to give it to me as he had split up with his gf, as soon as my h heard this (we were arguing at the time) he went out and bought me a big teddt for our anniversary. He knows I have wanted one before but hasn't bought me one as big before. <P>My male friend says he is just copying him and it is guilt and nothing else. I would love to believe he meant it but it's all he ever does when we argue (buy me things). <P>I am so confused and this arguing and doubt isn't doing my children any good and is making me ill and lose my appetite.