Are you there Regina? Haven't heard back from you in a while. I hope everything is ok with you. I'm sure you've been busy, as have I. Hope to hear from you when you get a chance.

cdlinaz,<BR>I just read your post and wanted to share another book with you "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" it was a wonderful insight for me. I too was in a very verbaly abusive and sometimes physical relationship - I tried for 8 years to get my husband to understand what was happening and also to seek counseling, he refused in all aspects. My only choice was to leave, which I did, though there are so many days I wish I could have gotten him to "wake up" to the problem so we could have stayed together, he had some wonderful qualities and I had loved him very much - but the more the abuse continued without him admitting it the more the love faded. Get this book if you can and see if it relates to your life at all. I read it over 5 times because every aspect of it hit on mine. Good luck and if in your heart you love him, keep trying to get him to understand he has faults to.

Thank you. I actually did buy that book and I've read most of it. I can relate to it and the situations are very similar, if not exact, to my relationship. I do love my husband and I am trying to get through this. It seems like every time I try to be independent, he gets more controlling and more verbally abusive. I want him to be able to see what is happening but he doesn't and all he does is blame me and say that I have an attitude and that I need to change it. He just can't see the my attitude changes based on what he says or does to me. I will have to finish that book soon. I did find the chapter regarding "the underlying dynamics" very interesting. I found that most of that did describe my husband and it was interesting to see why they are this way. I just wish they had a chapter of how to make them see it. I still haven't finished it so maybe there are some ideas regarding that. I just need some tips on how to change my reactions and/or what to say in response to his abuse.